PODCAST: The SIX LIES I was told when I started my LAW ENFORCEMENT CAREER | 181
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Show Notes from This Episode:
EPISODE OVERVIEW
I discuss the six lies that I was told when I became a cop and why they do not have to be true for you.
You WILL be divorced in five years.
You WILL be cynical and have the career in seven years!
Admin hates you and holds you back in your career/ The only promote the “in” people, those who kiss butt, etc.
Hard work is a bad thing. In order to survive this career, never volunteer for anything, hide under a tree in between calls and look out for yourself.
This career will destroy your health and there is nothing you can do about it.
Alcohol is a good way to ease the stress of the job.
BONUS: Better ways to cope with the stress of the job.
Relationships- keep the ones you had, develop new ones.
Hobbies- anything goes.
Exercise- If you are going to be addicted, get the dopamine rush, get the “pump.”
ABOUT THE SHOW
We know first-hand the struggle of trying not to take the job home with us and let it affect our families. We know the toll the law enforcement career can have on marriages and relationships. And we also have been frustrated by the lack of authentic leadership in our agencies. This Law Enforcement Podcast was designed to help you overcome the mental toll of the law enforcement career and the negative effects it can have on your personal life.
Hosted by active-duty law enforcement, we bring you two weekly podcasts. On Thursday, in The Interview Room we sit down with amazing guests who provide actionable advice on leadership, mental health, and relationships from their lived experiences. On Monday, in Morning Roll Call, you and I enjoy a cup of coffee and discuss current events, offer encouragement, and discuss practical steps for achieving the life we were meant to live. If you’re ready to become a better leader and protector on and off the job, then, please, scroll up and click follow to join us on the journey.
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LINKS:
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TRANSCRIPTION OF EPISODE. Please note this is a new service we are offering and there will be spelling, grammar and accuracy issues. This transcription is offered as a convenience to our listeners, but at this time it is not guaranteed to be accurate.
00:00:00:00 - 00:00:13:00
Wayne Mulder
So welcome to the On the Blue Line podcast. I'm your host, Wayne Mulder, and I'm excited this week. What I want to talk to you about is six lies that I was told when I first came into law enforcement. The On the Blue Line podcast starts now.
00:00:44:09 - 00:00:50:05
Wayne Mulder
All right. So welcome to the show. Let's get into this. So six lies that I was told when I came into law enforcement.
00:00:50:12 - 00:00:56:16
Wayne Mulder
And I know I know what you're thinking. Nobody ever lies right. Well some of these are may be subjective, but
00:00:56:16 - 00:01:09:06
Wayne Mulder
what I want you to think about or what are those things that you were told that just were not true and didn't have to be true right now? Maybe they were true for the person saying it, but that doesn't mean it had to be true for you when you came into this career.
00:01:09:06 - 00:01:14:06
Wayne Mulder
The first one was, and I'm I've heard so many different renditions and so many different versions of
00:01:14:06 - 00:01:16:07
Wayne Mulder
you will be divorced in five years.
00:01:16:07 - 00:01:26:21
Wayne Mulder
Maybe it's seven years, maybe it's eight years. But the point always was that this career is going to take your relationships away from you. If you were married prior to this career,
00:01:26:21 - 00:01:38:20
Wayne Mulder
yet you're going to have that starter relationship is a term you hear from time to time, and then you're going to come in this career and you're going to end up divorced, and then you're going to end up marrying another cop because nobody else understands the career the way you do.
00:01:38:21 - 00:01:39:08
Wayne Mulder
You know,
00:01:39:08 - 00:01:46:27
Wayne Mulder
that's all nonsense right now. That doesn't mean it doesn't happen, and that doesn't mean that the person saying it probably that was their story.
00:01:46:27 - 00:01:55:00
Wayne Mulder
But that isn't the that isn't the takeaway, right? That isn't the lesson. The lesson here is that doesn't have to be true. And it doesn't have to be true for you.
00:01:55:02 - 00:01:57:13
Wayne Mulder
If you're new and you've come into this career,
00:01:57:13 - 00:01:59:15
Wayne Mulder
you can have a strong relationship.
00:01:59:18 - 00:02:12:07
Wayne Mulder
Now, I may not be the perfect guy to get relationship advice from. Listen, that's not the point of this podcast. I've never been divorced. However, I have certainly had good days and bad days and rocky days, just like everybody else.
00:02:12:07 - 00:02:20:03
Wayne Mulder
And so just because things, may not work out, that's not necessarily what I'm talking about either.
00:02:20:03 - 00:02:24:10
Wayne Mulder
What I'm talking about is the mindset that because you came into this career,
00:02:24:10 - 00:02:27:23
Wayne Mulder
it just has to go bad. You can't keep that relationship.
00:02:27:23 - 00:02:34:09
Wayne Mulder
She's never going to understand, he's never going to understand. And you're going to have to just, you know, cut bait and move on.
00:02:34:09 - 00:02:36:24
Wayne Mulder
Yeah, that that is nonsense. So
00:02:36:24 - 00:02:41:02
Wayne Mulder
what I want to encourage you on is understanding that relationships take work.
00:02:41:09 - 00:02:49:09
Wayne Mulder
And if you're in this career, it may take more work. It is true that other people aren't going to necessary fully understand what it is
00:02:49:09 - 00:02:59:06
Wayne Mulder
that, what what it is that your day to day career is like, and they're not going to understand, like when Christmas rolls around and you're working and you're like, well, let's make Christmas the 23rd of December.
00:02:59:06 - 00:03:01:25
Wayne Mulder
And she may look at you, or he may look at you and be like,
00:03:01:25 - 00:03:06:23
Wayne Mulder
that's not Christmas. That's not even Christmas Eve. What in the heck are you talking about?
00:03:06:23 - 00:03:12:28
Wayne Mulder
But that's just part of the job. But here's the thing, right? If you're intentional, if you bring intentionality,
00:03:12:28 - 00:03:18:25
Wayne Mulder
and you start from the very beginning saying, hey, let's work this out here is going to be some of the challenges of the job.
00:03:18:27 - 00:03:21:23
Wayne Mulder
Then let's make this work and we will make it work.
00:03:21:28 - 00:03:24:29
Wayne Mulder
I can tell you first hand that it is possible
00:03:24:29 - 00:03:26:15
Wayne Mulder
and it's not easy.
00:03:26:15 - 00:03:44:15
Wayne Mulder
It doesn't mean that everything is just going to fall together. But what I can tell you is it can happen, and you can have good quality relationships with your significant other and work in this career. And there's no reason to believe that any length of time in this career is going to guarantee that your relationship is going to end.
00:03:44:15 - 00:03:44:22
Wayne Mulder
So
00:03:44:23 - 00:04:00:10
Wayne Mulder
lie number two. This one always gets me as well, and that is that you're going to be cynical and hate this job in seven years. Now listen again, there is some truth. And probably the person telling me that when I was sitting there in the academy, you know, brand new little cadet sitting there listening to everything they were saying
00:04:00:11 - 00:04:02:25
Wayne Mulder
in that moment, I was probably like,
00:04:02:26 - 00:04:07:27
Wayne Mulder
yeah, I could see why you hate this job just based on what they're saying, right?
00:04:08:00 - 00:04:10:11
Wayne Mulder
But that doesn't mean it has to be true for you.
00:04:10:12 - 00:04:18:09
Wayne Mulder
Here's the thing. I've been in this career for almost 13 years now, and I have enjoyed it. I certainly have had bad days. I've certainly had days I've wanted to exit.
00:04:18:10 - 00:04:24:28
Wayne Mulder
I've certainly even now I have some struggles physically and so forth that I've talked about openly with heart surgery and so forth.
00:04:24:29 - 00:04:25:16
Wayne Mulder
And
00:04:25:17 - 00:04:30:23
Wayne Mulder
in the end, I'm kind of like, should I stay or should I go? Those are all that. That's all part of it.
00:04:30:24 - 00:04:34:13
Wayne Mulder
But that's different than allowing cynicism to creep in.
00:04:34:14 - 00:04:39:20
Wayne Mulder
That's different than being that old grumpy sergeant or FTO or corporal, and you're sitting around,
00:04:39:21 - 00:04:43:02
Wayne Mulder
the admin just hates us, and
00:04:43:03 - 00:04:46:20
Wayne Mulder
everybody hates that. That's that is also nonsense.
00:04:46:20 - 00:04:49:05
Wayne Mulder
And it's a lie. It doesn't have to be that way.
00:04:49:06 - 00:04:57:20
Wayne Mulder
And what's the difference? Well, the difference or the what makes the difference for you is having a, positive mindset, right?
00:04:57:21 - 00:04:59:23
Wayne Mulder
The difference is all in here.
00:04:59:24 - 00:05:02:11
Wayne Mulder
That is where you can focus on
00:05:02:12 - 00:05:05:06
Wayne Mulder
turning what could potentially be negative things.
00:05:05:07 - 00:05:08:11
Wayne Mulder
Listen, you're going to see things. Do things, have
00:05:08:12 - 00:05:11:12
Wayne Mulder
access to things that certainly will be negative.
00:05:11:12 - 00:05:13:25
Wayne Mulder
And there are going to be moments that you're like, man,
00:05:13:26 - 00:05:15:15
Wayne Mulder
this career sucks,
00:05:15:16 - 00:05:17:01
Wayne Mulder
but it doesn't have to.
00:05:17:02 - 00:05:21:07
Wayne Mulder
You can choose to change that and to have a positive mindset.
00:05:21:13 - 00:05:22:23
Wayne Mulder
So line number three
00:05:22:23 - 00:05:41:17
Wayne Mulder
admin hate you. They hold you back in this career. You've heard some derivative of. They only promote the end people. Only the people they like. They only promote the people that kiss ass. Whatever. Whatever terminology, whatever phraseology you've heard over and over. We've all heard that lie. Now, that doesn't mean there isn't some truth again.
00:05:41:17 - 00:05:46:28
Wayne Mulder
Right? So all of these lies can have some truth. The difference is it doesn't have to be your truth.
00:05:46:28 - 00:05:52:14
Wayne Mulder
You can absolutely overcome every one of these. And it doesn't have to be your reality.
00:05:52:14 - 00:06:01:25
Wayne Mulder
When it comes to admin, it, it does maybe quantify a little bit when you talk about upper echelon positions, because obviously, let's say you work at a sheriff's office.
00:06:02:03 - 00:06:27:01
Wayne Mulder
Sheriff's offices are political by their very nature. So it is highly possible that the people who helped that sheriff get elected politically are going to become your next captains and majors. And and that actually makes perfect sense. You don't have a lot of political or presidential parties that are running. And then they come in there and then they're like, you know, my cabinet should be made up with everybody who didn't support me for this position.
00:06:27:01 - 00:06:36:13
Wayne Mulder
That is very rare, and it doesn't typically happen, and it doesn't happen because it doesn't usually work well. So if that's what you're talking about, then obviously it's not a lie.
00:06:36:13 - 00:06:41:27
Wayne Mulder
But if what you're talking about is that, well, they just they just don't like me. And
00:06:41:27 - 00:06:42:21
Wayne Mulder
the only,
00:06:42:21 - 00:06:51:18
Wayne Mulder
the only reason that, Bob over here got this promotion as well, because, you know, they just like Bob better, and Bob kisses everybody's butt.
00:06:51:18 - 00:06:52:27
Wayne Mulder
Yeah, it could be true,
00:06:52:27 - 00:06:56:26
Wayne Mulder
could be true, could be true. But nine out of ten times
00:06:56:26 - 00:07:02:15
Wayne Mulder
just for an arbitrary stat, nine out of ten times that I see that kind of stuff. That's not really what happened.
00:07:02:15 - 00:07:09:14
Wayne Mulder
The fact of the matter is, is Bob has been a go getter. Bob has been getting off his ass. Bob has been out doing traffic stops.
00:07:09:14 - 00:07:19:20
Wayne Mulder
Bob has been doing neighborhood checks. Bob went over to Sid to say, hey, what you guys doing here? I've been working this case and I would love to hold on to it. Sarge, would you mind if I did?
00:07:19:20 - 00:07:27:10
Wayne Mulder
And then if I could just maybe work with the detective to learn a little more? That's what Bob did. So then when Bob gets the promotion and you're sitting there being like,
00:07:27:10 - 00:07:30:14
Wayne Mulder
I don't know why they always pick Bob over.
00:07:30:14 - 00:07:35:23
Wayne Mulder
Well, they picked Bob because Bob did the right thing, and that's the difference, right? So
00:07:35:23 - 00:07:36:29
Wayne Mulder
if you,
00:07:36:29 - 00:07:41:16
Wayne Mulder
if this is where you're at, I would, I would encourage you with two things. Right. First of all,
00:07:41:16 - 00:07:48:29
Wayne Mulder
don't allow others to determine your happiness. So maybe there is truth. Maybe you do work for a small agency and it really is an in crowd.
00:07:48:29 - 00:07:53:29
Wayne Mulder
And the the sheriff or the chief just picks, you know, his buddies. Okay. That's fine.
00:07:53:29 - 00:07:54:22
Wayne Mulder
So then in
00:07:54:22 - 00:08:02:12
Wayne Mulder
my opinion, is and this comes from long before I worked in law enforcement, when I worked in landscaping and I, worked with other people,
00:08:02:12 - 00:08:10:10
Wayne Mulder
it always came down to, if I've made the decision to work for you, then my relationship is with you, and I'm going to honor that.
00:08:10:10 - 00:08:14:28
Wayne Mulder
That doesn't mean we're always going to agree, and that doesn't even mean that I may like you or dislike you. Right?
00:08:14:28 - 00:08:20:24
Wayne Mulder
But what it does mean is that there's a certain honor that comes to that position, and I'm not going to speak badly about you.
00:08:20:24 - 00:08:28:02
Wayne Mulder
And if there is a point where that that can't be held anymore because maybe there is truly toxic situations,
00:08:28:02 - 00:08:30:26
Wayne Mulder
well, then you have the option to say, you know what,
00:08:30:26 - 00:08:32:00
Wayne Mulder
I think I'm going to leave.
00:08:32:00 - 00:08:36:22
Wayne Mulder
I'm going to go somewhere else. And that's maybe the right move. And there's nothing wrong with that.
00:08:36:22 - 00:08:41:12
Wayne Mulder
Where there is a problem is when you're the guy sitting around and allowing that negativity to
00:08:41:12 - 00:08:47:01
Wayne Mulder
creep in and you're always badmouthing the agency you work for. If you if you're going to work for an agency,
00:08:47:01 - 00:08:53:09
Wayne Mulder
be positive about them. And if you can't be positive for maybe legitimate reasons, then leave.
00:08:53:11 - 00:08:54:11
Wayne Mulder
Those are your options.
00:08:54:16 - 00:09:02:08
Wayne Mulder
So line number four, this one gets me a little bit right. And this is that whole hard work is a bad thing. And you hear all these different derivatives of this statement.
00:09:02:07 - 00:09:12:24
Wayne Mulder
Sometimes you hear the never volunteer for anything. Now, I'll be honest, my dad, my grandfather, other people used to tell me that when I was a kid, it was this whole military mindset of never volunteer for anything.
00:09:12:24 - 00:09:17:00
Wayne Mulder
Don't don't raise your hand. Just stand over there in the corner. They'll tell you where they need to go. Okay,
00:09:16:29 - 00:09:24:26
Wayne Mulder
I don't know that I agree with that, but another derivative or another way you hear it is, well, this career is safer if you just hang out under a tree somewhere and
00:09:24:25 - 00:09:28:17
Wayne Mulder
you only you only can do this if you look out for yourself.
00:09:28:17 - 00:09:31:29
Wayne Mulder
You'll never survive to survive this career. If you're not looking out for yourself.
00:09:31:28 - 00:09:38:08
Wayne Mulder
Any of those kind of statements, I again totally disagree with them. And in most cases I would say they're lies.
00:09:38:08 - 00:09:50:01
Wayne Mulder
Here's where I come from. Right? So when I first came to the agency and I sat down and I'm sitting across from the person who's hiring me, and I remember to this day, in fact, I recently sent a note about it because I just thought it was the coolest thing.
00:09:50:01 - 00:09:53:09
Wayne Mulder
And they said they looked me in the eye and said, hey, wing.
00:09:53:08 - 00:10:02:02
Wayne Mulder
Every time that an opportunity comes up, anytime that they walk in the room, whoever it is, a sergeant, a corporal, whoever your boss is that day, a captain,
00:10:02:01 - 00:10:03:20
Wayne Mulder
a major comes in and says,
00:10:03:19 - 00:10:09:01
Wayne Mulder
hey, I need somebody to do something. Be the guy that does this every single time.
00:10:09:01 - 00:10:12:16
Wayne Mulder
Raise your hand. Say, pick me, pick me, hey, pick me. I'll do that.
00:10:12:15 - 00:10:19:27
Wayne Mulder
It doesn't mean you have to be pretentious. You don't have to be a jerk. But what you're saying is, hey, if you have something that you need done,
00:10:19:26 - 00:10:21:28
Wayne Mulder
I'm your guy. I'm going to help you out.
00:10:21:27 - 00:10:24:06
Wayne Mulder
Now, there are times you have to say, no, there's time.
00:10:24:06 - 00:10:34:10
Wayne Mulder
There's schedule conflicts. There's times that maybe it's going to be extracurricular and outside of your normal hours, and then it's going to come into family time. Those that's not what I'm talking about. And you know it.
00:10:34:09 - 00:10:42:01
Wayne Mulder
What I'm talking about is being the person who's willing to say you need somebody. I made an agreement to work for you, and I'm your guy
00:10:42:00 - 00:10:43:29
Wayne Mulder
because that is going to help you out.
00:10:43:29 - 00:10:47:19
Wayne Mulder
That is going to allow you to move up the ladder
00:10:47:18 - 00:10:48:29
Wayne Mulder
at that agency
00:10:48:28 - 00:10:57:18
Wayne Mulder
at every chance, every opportunity that I have had to move up in, one fashion or another usually has come
00:10:57:17 - 00:11:01:23
Wayne Mulder
from being able to do different projects that just kind of got my name known.
00:11:01:22 - 00:11:06:17
Wayne Mulder
It was working economic, detective cases on the road.
00:11:06:16 - 00:11:12:21
Wayne Mulder
It was going into economics and then working big cases that kind of got noticed over in the Major Crimes Unit.
00:11:12:20 - 00:11:18:14
Wayne Mulder
It was going into Major Crimes and then saying, you know what? Let me put it in for Sergeant. You guys need sergeants. I'm here. Let me do that.
00:11:18:13 - 00:11:23:26
Wayne Mulder
And on and on. And every opportunity has come from trying to be the guy. And I'm not perfect about it,
00:11:23:25 - 00:11:27:05
Wayne Mulder
but trying to be the guy that says, hey, you need somebody, I'm your guy.
00:11:27:07 - 00:11:34:22
Wayne Mulder
You're paying me. Either way, I may as well give you the best work that I possibly can. Right?
00:11:34:21 - 00:11:48:03
Wayne Mulder
And that will go a long ways in this career. So if you come from that mindset, you know, these old sergeants and these old stories that you hear from back in the day, and they're like hiding under the oak tree during the entire shift, because that's safer.
00:11:48:07 - 00:11:54:26
Wayne Mulder
I would encourage you to rethink that. Step away from that, that it's complete nonsense. And I totally disagree.
00:11:54:25 - 00:12:00:16
Wayne Mulder
number five, this career will destroy your health. And it has. And there's nothing you can do about it.
00:12:00:16 - 00:12:06:15
Wayne Mulder
So again like with all like with most of these there's some truth to that. This career is hard on your health.
00:12:06:22 - 00:12:18:27
Wayne Mulder
There is no doubt about it. As many of you know, if you watch my video a few weeks ago, the reason you didn't hear from me for years, I just went through open heart surgery. It was the full cut me open the whole deal. Well, that happened because,
00:12:18:27 - 00:12:25:10
Wayne Mulder
possibly due in part to working in this career now I have I was born with a condition that led to it,
00:12:25:10 - 00:12:29:17
Wayne Mulder
but there's certainly no doubt that shift work poor diet,
00:12:29:17 - 00:12:33:06
Wayne Mulder
all these things play into our overall physical health.
00:12:33:06 - 00:12:44:24
Wayne Mulder
And there is no doubt that you can allow this career to destroy your health. That is why it's within that and stress that so many law enforcement officers die within five years of retirement.
00:12:44:24 - 00:12:48:08
Wayne Mulder
Where do you think those statistics come from? There is some truth here.
00:12:48:08 - 00:12:51:09
Wayne Mulder
What makes it a lie is it doesn't have to be the truth.
00:12:51:09 - 00:12:53:00
Wayne Mulder
It doesn't have to be your truth.
00:12:53:00 - 00:13:07:15
Wayne Mulder
Focus on your health. Make that a priority. There should be certain things in your life that are non-negotiables, right? These are things that I'm going to do every day. And one of those should be some sort of physical exercise. Now I hear what you're saying.
00:13:07:17 - 00:13:11:19
Speaker 2
When this is so difficult, I don't I don't know if I can do that.
00:13:11:19 - 00:13:14:06
Speaker 2
I don't have enough time. I've got this and this.
00:13:14:09 - 00:13:15:22
Wayne Mulder
That's why it's called a priority.
00:13:15:22 - 00:13:21:00
Wayne Mulder
Right. And I get it. Yeah. It preaching to the choir. And when you come to me and you're like, hey, when.
00:13:21:06 - 00:13:22:26
Speaker 2
I just don't know how I get it.
00:13:22:28 - 00:13:28:29
Wayne Mulder
Yeah. Have you ever tried to do a podcast and to build a business and to work at it?
00:13:28:29 - 00:13:44:13
Wayne Mulder
This isn't about me, right? This is about the simple fact that if you're going to say, I am going to do this because it's priority, then it becomes the priority. So what do I do? What what what I've done is there are certain days I get out here, maybe I just run sprints before work in my yard.
00:13:44:20 - 00:13:47:25
Wayne Mulder
15 minutes. I'm I'm in the sun, I'm sweating.
00:13:47:25 - 00:14:00:25
Wayne Mulder
But I got some exercise in. Maybe it's not my goal. It's not 45 minutes. I wasn't in the gym. I wasn't throwing plates. I wasn't doing what I want to do, per se. But I've prioritized something that, you know what, I've got 15 minutes. I'm going to make it happen.
00:14:00:25 - 00:14:02:29
Wayne Mulder
And that is something I want to encourage you to do.
00:14:02:29 - 00:14:05:28
Wayne Mulder
So number six, and the last one for this is
00:14:05:29 - 00:14:15:05
Wayne Mulder
alcohol is a good way to ease the stress of the job on its face. Almost everybody knows that that is complete B.S. b s
00:14:15:06 - 00:14:21:16
Wayne Mulder
listen, that is the worst thing you could do. And when I first started, it was pretty prevalent.
00:14:21:23 - 00:14:26:04
Wayne Mulder
I was on squads that would have big get togethers, and I wanted to be part of the team. And I'm like, man,
00:14:26:05 - 00:14:27:11
Wayne Mulder
let me go to this squad.
00:14:27:12 - 00:14:29:29
Wayne Mulder
I just want to see everybody and it's fun and
00:14:30:00 - 00:14:32:00
Wayne Mulder
you show up and people are like
00:14:32:01 - 00:14:37:17
Wayne Mulder
drunk, like falling over, doing stupid things, having sex outside. We won't talk about that.
00:14:37:24 - 00:14:45:10
Wayne Mulder
But yeah, I mean, there is all sorts of just absolute insanity that was taking place and it was all alcohol driven.
00:14:45:13 - 00:14:55:13
Wayne Mulder
Does that mean I'm against alcohol? No, that's not the point of this, right? Here's the thing. Have the occasional drink. Go out for a beer. I don't have an issue with any of that. That's not the point of this.
00:14:55:20 - 00:14:58:07
Wayne Mulder
The point of this is that if you're at the point that
00:14:58:08 - 00:15:09:10
Wayne Mulder
the career in law enforcement makes you need the drink, it's been such a hard shift. I just need a drink. Or if you're getting home in the morning and you're like, man, I can't sleep until I have 1 or 2 beers.
00:15:09:11 - 00:15:11:27
Wayne Mulder
You have a problem, you have a problem.
00:15:11:27 - 00:15:28:18
Wayne Mulder
And here's what I see happen. Right? I have seen in my career, us lose really good officers to DUIs. And I know what you're saying. Well, don't drink and drive well, in each of those situations, these guys would have allegedly a couple beers, you know, the whole couple beer thing.
00:15:28:19 - 00:15:39:14
Wayne Mulder
But I don't know where the truth is. But what I do know is, is that if you don't drink and don't get behind the wheel at all, then there is a much higher probability that you will never be pulled over for DUI.
00:15:39:14 - 00:15:39:28
Wayne Mulder
So
00:15:39:29 - 00:15:44:03
Wayne Mulder
just think about when you drink, if you do drink, and whether or not
00:15:44:04 - 00:15:56:17
Wayne Mulder
it is starting to take over your life. If it's becoming something you need to do to function, then you've got an addiction and it's time to go see somebody. It's time to say enough of this and
00:15:56:18 - 00:15:57:13
Wayne Mulder
move on.
00:15:57:14 - 00:15:58:00
Wayne Mulder
But
00:15:58:01 - 00:16:01:20
Wayne Mulder
as with everything, let's not just take something out, let's put something positive in.
00:16:01:20 - 00:16:04:05
Wayne Mulder
Right. So let me give you real quick three ways
00:16:04:06 - 00:16:04:20
Wayne Mulder
that
00:16:04:21 - 00:16:10:14
Wayne Mulder
help you cope better with this job. So if if you're coming to the alcohol from the mindset of
00:16:10:15 - 00:16:15:22
Wayne Mulder
hey, I need to cope a little better and I just need some way of dealing with it, well,
00:16:15:23 - 00:16:18:25
Wayne Mulder
here's three ideas. Number one is relationships. So
00:16:18:26 - 00:16:25:24
Wayne Mulder
when I talk to the new cadets who are coming into the Academy, one of the things I always talk about is to keep your old relationships.
00:16:25:27 - 00:16:30:17
Wayne Mulder
When I first came in, there was the kind of back to the divorce thing. There was this mindset
00:16:30:18 - 00:16:35:06
Wayne Mulder
that you can't keep those old relationships because they just don't understand the job.
00:16:35:07 - 00:16:44:15
Wayne Mulder
I would actually now, after 13 years, flip that on its head and say the opposite. You have to keep those old relationships because they understand the life outside the job.
00:16:44:16 - 00:16:49:10
Wayne Mulder
The issue is, is you're dealing with such a small percentage of people over and over again
00:16:49:11 - 00:16:57:15
Wayne Mulder
that you start believing that's reality, that everybody has lost their ever loving mind, which when you look at a global scale, that may be true, but
00:16:57:16 - 00:17:03:10
Wayne Mulder
you start to believe that this is reality, that this is where we're at as a whole.
00:17:03:11 - 00:17:22:13
Wayne Mulder
And that may or may not be true. Maintaining those old relationships, those old friendships, keeping out. Maybe you are going out for drinks again, nothing wrong with the drinks. That's not the point. But you're keeping those old relationships and you guys are communicating and you're starting to see the world outside. The other thing is, is developing new relationships.
00:17:22:14 - 00:17:27:28
Wayne Mulder
Very powerful. The other thing is hobbies. Now anything goes here, right? So I don't know,
00:17:27:29 - 00:17:31:17
Wayne Mulder
y'all are so young now coming in this career. Maybe you're playing Yugioh. For all I know
00:17:31:18 - 00:17:34:06
Wayne Mulder
I listen. It doesn't matter what it is,
00:17:34:07 - 00:17:40:00
Wayne Mulder
it just keep those hobbies, keep something that gets your mind off of it. For me, this podcast,
00:17:40:01 - 00:17:44:17
Wayne Mulder
it's kind of a hobby slash business because I'm trying to create something more out of it.
00:17:44:20 - 00:17:45:05
Wayne Mulder
But
00:17:45:06 - 00:17:49:14
Wayne Mulder
it started as a hobby. Writing started as a hobby. It was something that
00:17:49:15 - 00:17:53:04
Wayne Mulder
gives me a break. The other nice thing when you pick hobbies like that,
00:17:53:05 - 00:18:06:11
Wayne Mulder
is it also let you work through a lot of the thoughts and feelings and different ideas that you have. You're getting it out on paper. You're starting to be like, okay, you know, this is what I, this is what I want to do or this is
00:18:06:12 - 00:18:08:03
Wayne Mulder
this is maybe something I need to work on.
00:18:08:03 - 00:18:10:22
Wayne Mulder
And there's a lot of self-reflection that goes into that. So
00:18:10:23 - 00:18:25:06
Wayne Mulder
whatever it is, I encourage you to do it. Maybe it's mowing the lawn. Maybe it's putting plants in the ground, green side up, maybe it's whatever, you know, it doesn't matter. Board games, like I said, you know, just find that connection in that hobby. And maybe those two things can be the same, right?
00:18:25:14 - 00:18:29:09
Wayne Mulder
Maybe those can be relationship tips that you have with people while simultaneously,
00:18:29:10 - 00:18:35:03
Wayne Mulder
working on the hobbies, that you enjoy and get your mind off of it. And then the last thing
00:18:35:04 - 00:18:38:27
Wayne Mulder
and this kind of goes back to one of the previous points as well. But exercise,
00:18:38:28 - 00:18:43:12
Wayne Mulder
if you're going to be addicted to something, why not be addicted to that, right.
00:18:43:17 - 00:18:43:29
Wayne Mulder
Like
00:18:44:00 - 00:18:56:29
Wayne Mulder
we know that health is going to be a concern in this career and you're going to struggle with different things. So why not become addicted to health? Why not get it that dopamine rush? Get the pump if you would. I don't know what
00:18:57:00 - 00:18:59:02
Wayne Mulder
ever it is, but I can tell you this. This is what?
00:18:59:03 - 00:19:00:17
Wayne Mulder
I can't tell you a lot of things.
00:19:00:17 - 00:19:02:23
Wayne Mulder
But what I can tell you is what works for me and for me.
00:19:02:24 - 00:19:07:27
Wayne Mulder
Like even before I did this podcast, it was important that I made it to the gym because getting in the gym,
00:19:07:28 - 00:19:15:00
Wayne Mulder
you know, you get out there, you start with the treadmill, you get that blood pumping, you get that heart rate up, then you go over, you lift some weights.
00:19:15:00 - 00:19:17:01
Wayne Mulder
It feels good. You get that dopamine rush
00:19:17:02 - 00:19:20:06
Wayne Mulder
and all of a sudden you're like, man, I'm ready to go,
00:19:20:07 - 00:19:20:21
Wayne Mulder
you know, go
00:19:20:22 - 00:19:23:18
Wayne Mulder
get a cup of coffee and I'm ready to talk for an hour.
00:19:23:19 - 00:19:28:19
Wayne Mulder
I won't do that to you. But the truth is, is that that that is what helps
00:19:28:20 - 00:19:34:15
Wayne Mulder
to offset where a lot of people used to need alcohol to feel really good, use exercise.
00:19:34:15 - 00:19:36:16
Wayne Mulder
And that can become a way of life. So
00:19:36:17 - 00:19:45:16
Wayne Mulder
those are the six lies I have for you today. I hope that you enjoyed this content. If you want more content like this, then please send me a message.
00:19:45:17 - 00:19:47:14
Wayne Mulder
Go to our Instagram page. It's
00:19:47:15 - 00:19:50:26
Wayne Mulder
on the Blue Line podcast that's at On the Blue Line podcast.
00:19:50:27 - 00:19:55:09
Wayne Mulder
And in there I want you to send me a DM and tell me what you thought about this episode.
00:19:55:14 - 00:20:13:06
Wayne Mulder
So again, Instagram at on the Blue Line Podcast, you gotta like the page and send me a DM and I will get back with you. I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. And then lastly, if you haven't looked at our Patreon page, I encourage you to go to on the Blue line.com. Scroll down. You're going to see the link to the Patreon page.
00:20:13:12 - 00:20:18:12
Wayne Mulder
Go in there, see what you think. If you're enjoying this content, what Patreon brings you is more
00:20:18:13 - 00:20:28:06
Wayne Mulder
just more. That's all it is. More. So that's all I have for you this week. I hope you have a wonderful week. We'll see you next week in the podcast. In the meantime, I'll see you out there on the blue line.