PODCAST: On The Blue Line Podcast | MORNING ROLL CALL | In Memory of my Father | Episode 087
On The Blue Line Podcast | MORNING ROLL CALL | In Memory of my Father | Episode 087
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Show Notes from This Episode
The On The Blue Line Podcast and Community has the mission of Empowering Cops in their personal lives and educating the public on the realities of law enforcement. This law enforcement podcast is focused on providing concepts, ideas, and actionable steps that can make a difference in your life. The morning roll call is a weekly monologue show with Wayne Mulder. The Interview Room podcast is an interview style format hosted by Wayne Mulder.
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In this episode:
One take away for the week:
Remember TOMORROW, November 08, 2022 is election day in the US. Please be sure to exercise your right as a citizen of this GREAT country.
I mentioned Blaze TV’s Midterms 2022 LiveStream. Here’s the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ii-Te752KDk
This week, In memory of my father, Paul Mulder who passed away one year ago. I offer three lessons my dad taught me and end with a poem that I wrote, days after his passing.
REMINDERS: Keith Malinak, guest on episode 046 of The Interview Room has his Live Stream on YouTube this Friday, November 11 for Veterans Day.
Dom Teich, guest on episode 047 of The Interview Room releases the book, Single Seat Wisdom this Veteran’s day. 100% of the proceeds will be donated to the Anna Schindler Foundation, a children’s cancer foundation.
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- Get the eBook, “How the law enforcement makes you cynical and what you can do about it” by Wayne Mulder.
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TRANSCRIPTION OF EPISODE. Please note this is a new service we are offering and there will be spelling, grammar and accuracy issues. This transcription is offered as a convenience to our listeners, but at this time it is not guaranteed to be accurate.
00:00:01:20 - 00:00:34:22
Wayne Mulder
This week on Morning Roll Call in memory of my father. Morning Roll Call starts now. Welcome, everybody, to the 133rd episode of the podcast. My goodness. We are going up in numbers and it is amazing to me how far we have come. In fact, towards the end of the year, I'm going to be putting out something to show you how far we've come, because I went back and looked at the very first recorded episode and things have changed and I think that's a good thing.
00:00:34:22 - 00:00:54:29
Wayne Mulder
And it is 100% due to you, the listener, because without people coming back week after week and listening to the podcast, and it doesn't mean I still would do it, but I'd just be talking to myself and then people begin wondering about it. You know how that goes. The over time you begin questioning that person's sanity. However, thankfully, each and every one of you come back week after week.
00:00:55:08 - 00:01:22:17
Wayne Mulder
If this is the first time you've found the podcast, this is Morning Roll Call. It's a monologue show. You and I, we just sit down, we have a quick conversation, usually 15, 20 minutes, and then we get the week started. The other show, The Interview Room, comes out Thursday mornings at zero 500 and and there I sit down with a different guest every week from all different types and backgrounds and life experiences and bring you something that I think is really going to be different and new for you.
00:01:22:26 - 00:01:40:11
Wayne Mulder
This last week was Keith Malinak. If you haven't listened to that episode, I suggest that you do and I hope that you'll go back and listen to it. It was completely different. So I would love to get your feedback. It was, first of all, the longest recorded episode I've ever released and I also is not really law enforcement specific.
00:01:40:12 - 00:02:03:20
Wayne Mulder
We talk about some cop stuff at the end of it, but it was a lot of it was just good general conversation and a lot of fun to do it. So I'd love to get your feedback on that episode and let me know if you want more content like that or if you like our typical content. So one thing I want to mention that was brought up in that episode is, like I said, both of the guests that I had both last weekend, this coming week was because Veterans Day is coming up.
00:02:03:20 - 00:02:25:16
Wayne Mulder
It's this Friday, the 11th, and they both have some special events coming on. So for Keith Malinak, remember he's got the podcast At The Mic with Keith and he's doing a live stream on his YouTube channel at the mic with Keith from 2 to 5 p.m. Eastern Standard Time on this Friday, Veterans Day. And it's going to be an event celebrating and honoring veterans.
00:02:25:16 - 00:02:57:07
Wayne Mulder
So be sure to check that out if you can. But that's going to be on Keith Mills next YouTube channel coming up this week, our guest is Dom or Dominic Teich and he goes by the call sign slice and he is going to bring us great stories, great wisdom, great information from his time as a fighter pilot. However, the reason I'm bringing it up right now is I want you to go to single seat wisdom.com single seat wisdom.com.
00:02:57:25 - 00:03:22:06
Wayne Mulder
Same thing this Veterans Day on Friday the 11th. He's got volume two of a book that he was involved in producing. It's got actually a lot of different authors in there who were all fighter pilots. So unlike a typical success book for driven individuals, single Seat Wisdom focuses on how fighter pilots use their decision making skills and how the reader can quickly apply them in their own life.
00:03:22:13 - 00:03:46:11
Wayne Mulder
And we obviously get more into that in this week's The Interview Room. But be sure to on Friday, if you go to the website single seat wisdom dot com, you'll be able to get a copy of the book. Here's what I love about it. 100% of the proceeds go to the and the Schindler Foundation that is a children's cancer nonprofit that helps families in the Northwest when they are dealing with a child who is fighting cancer.
00:03:46:20 - 00:04:03:28
Wayne Mulder
And that is something that is near and dear to me. If you've been listening this podcast for any length of time, I've talked about my friend who lost her eight year old brother when we were friends in high school. And that is something that I've always any way I can support good foundations that are doing great things in that world.
00:04:03:28 - 00:04:26:23
Wayne Mulder
I absolutely will. So single seat wisdom dot com. And then be sure to check out this Thursday's episode with Dominique Teich. All right. So let's get to today's morning roll Call. One other real quick thing for all of this information, just go to on the blue line.com, I won't bore you with the five other things I typically go over if you just go to on the blue line.com on there, you'll get access to everything.
00:04:26:23 - 00:04:43:00
Wayne Mulder
You can find us on social media, you can find the community. Just follow the links from there. But on the blue line.com will get you started. All right. Two things I want to do today. First, and I warned you that the next couple episodes and I said this last week, the next couple episodes are something a little different, right?
00:04:43:10 - 00:05:07:24
Wayne Mulder
We're not going to do our typical news stories and so forth because of some things I've got going on, which I'll talk more about here once they get going. But between some things that I got going on and then between just the schedule in general, I'm going to do something a little different and just bring some individual ideas to you each week, and then we'll get back to our normal producing probably in two more weeks.
00:05:07:24 - 00:05:27:07
Wayne Mulder
So towards the end of November, 1st of December, that being said, tomorrow, Tuesday, November 8th is the midterm election. I'm not going to get into the politics of it. Any of you that know me personally knows that you know that that's killing me internally. I'm trying to bite my tongue literally as I talk here, biting my tongue, which doesn't work well if you're a podcaster.
00:05:27:17 - 00:05:51:01
Wayne Mulder
But all seriousness, tomorrow is the election. It is the midterm election. Get out and vote. I will just leave it there. It is important, I would say, regardless of which side you are voting for in all honesty, it's true, right? As a constitutional republic, we have a duty to get out and vote. So please, please, please don't forget.
00:05:51:10 - 00:06:18:07
Wayne Mulder
Put it in your schedule. Make sure you go. The midterms notoriously have lower voter turnout, and this is not the year for that. There's no excuses. It is a right that you are given as being a citizen of this great country. So exercise that right. Get yourself to the polls if you haven't already, because a lot of states like the great state of Florida do offer the early voting, allowing you to get that taken care of in advance.
00:06:18:07 - 00:06:38:23
Wayne Mulder
So that's all I'm going to say on that. One last thing, if you are sick of legacy media, as I am this year, I'm not doing anything special for the election. I hope to in future years. However, if you do follow Blaze Network Keith Malinak, of course, works with Blaze. He was on here last week, but Blaze is doing some special election night coverage.
00:06:38:26 - 00:06:58:02
Wayne Mulder
So if you don't really want to watch the network or the legacy networks because they drive you absolutely crazy like they do me, then may I suggest? And I've got no affiliation with them, but I do like what they do and I think you're going to enjoy the personalities. And of course, one of the producers with Blaze's Keith Malinak, who we had on last week.
00:06:58:11 - 00:07:42:02
Wayne Mulder
So check out their election night coverage if that is something that interests you. All right. This week is going to be a little bit more personal and probably a little shorter. Honestly, I've got limited notes here. I'm really just going to talk. So one year ago yesterday, we lost my father. And so I thought what I would do this week is just kind of talk about fatherhood in general, but then kind of speak on the legacy of my father and what that means to me in hopes of for you, who still have your parents, that it encourages you and maybe gives you the opportunity or to think about calling him if it's been a while,
00:07:42:02 - 00:08:04:06
Wayne Mulder
or to communicate with your parents. And then if you've also lost your parents to also sympathize and empathize with what I know you're going through because I know what I've gone through. So my father passed away, like I said, one year ago at the age of 66, which was the same age as my grandfather, which for you know, which is kind of scary.
00:08:04:06 - 00:08:32:07
Wayne Mulder
I'm on end, especially as we get older and you start doing math. But yeah, so it was medical related and there were some medical concerns that had happened. He had actually had a heart attack. They thought they had solved that problem and then some other medical issues. He had ended up combating the way they were solving the heart issues and the battle of the two is what ultimately led to his demise.
00:08:33:15 - 00:08:47:09
Wayne Mulder
So I'm not going to talk more about that. What I want to talk about is lessons I learned from my father. Right. So I'm going to start with I'm just going to give you three of these. So I'm going to try to keep this relatively short. I say that every time and I never do it, but I mean it when I say it.
00:08:47:09 - 00:09:10:25
Wayne Mulder
In case you're wondering. So the first lesson would be it's not about you when you're a father, right? It's not. And so I'm a father now myself. And this well, I've been a father for 20 years and he turns 21 this next year. My son does. And one of the lessons I think that I really learned from my dad is it's not about you when you're a father.
00:09:10:26 - 00:09:31:06
Wayne Mulder
And what do I mean by that? Right. So my dad always cared about the things that I wanted to do as his son. You know, my crazy ideas that I would have from time to time. And he would fully support them. There was one year in my teenage years that I decided what I want to do a 150 mile bike ride that was going to support the IMS Foundation.
00:09:31:16 - 00:09:59:14
Wayne Mulder
It went from southern Indiana and went up to near the Indianapolis area and a 150 mile bike ride. To put this in perspective, my dad was not physically fit really at all for as long as I knew him previous to, he had been in a horrific motorcycle accident that almost took his life prior to my being born, and that put him in a lot of pain throughout his whole life and played a part in it, physical fitness and so forth.
00:10:00:12 - 00:10:19:15
Wayne Mulder
However, and I really wasn't a big fitness guy either, right? Like I enjoyed playing sports, which I'll get to here in a minute and I enjoyed doing those kind of things, but it wasn't like I was out riding 150 miles or anywhere near that. Right. And this was in a weekend deal. You went 75 miles one day in 75 miles the next, and then there was a big party at the end.
00:10:19:29 - 00:10:37:26
Wayne Mulder
And so I had this harebrained idea that I wanted to do this and get involved in supporting the foundation, and then also for the challenge of being able to say, we did this well. Not only did my father fully support me in it, he did it with me and he was not ready in any way, shape or form.
00:10:38:02 - 00:10:58:27
Wayne Mulder
In fact, a couple of points he ended up in the van that follows at the very back of the group. And listen, we grew up very fortunate for my upbringing, but financially and so forth, we would definitely be considered lower middle class. You know, we had everything we needed, but we weren't talking top of the line, bicycles here.
00:10:59:04 - 00:11:18:26
Wayne Mulder
They were extremely heavy road bikes. They certainly were not made for this kind of trip. And yet we did it. And I'm able to say that I rode 150 miles and my dad went the 150 miles, though portion of it. He was in the van, but it was that kind of thing, right? It didn't matter what it was that I was doing.
00:11:18:26 - 00:11:36:18
Wayne Mulder
He always wanted to fully support it. The same was true with basketball. My dad hated sports, hated him, hated it, hated it. But I grew up in northern Indiana. What do you do in northern Indiana? Well, you have to play basketball like it's actually a requirement. You're not allowed to live there unless you do not. True. But you know that that's just the way it seemed.
00:11:36:18 - 00:11:53:03
Wayne Mulder
So I loved the sport. The school I went to only had two options. You played basketball. If you were a boy, you played volleyball. If you were a girl, that was it. There wasn't like a third option of football, which if you are watching this on video, I probably look a little bit more like a football player than a basketball player.
00:11:53:05 - 00:12:15:11
Wayne Mulder
But nonetheless, it was the sport that was available and I wanted to play it. And so I 100% dove into it. And what I was 100% diving into it means what means practicing right? So who would drive me around? Who would take me up to the park? Who? Because you could join in the seventh grade. You could get on the varsity basketball team because it was just a small school in a rural part of Indiana.
00:12:15:24 - 00:12:31:09
Wayne Mulder
So who would take me? When my father would take me, he would make sure that I went. He hated sports, hated it, but he would make sure that those opportunities were there for me. In the same was true with business ideas. As I got older, he was always the one that supported it because as a father, it's not about you.
00:12:31:19 - 00:12:50:15
Wayne Mulder
It really isn't. It's about being there for your children. And that was a lesson I learned from my dad and coming full circle with it even later in life when I got involved with the landscape company. And in Florida he came from Indiana, moved down to Florida, which once he got here, he never liked cold weather again and never would have left the state.
00:12:50:15 - 00:13:09:16
Wayne Mulder
But even though I've tried to drag him out of more than and tried to drag him out on more than one occasion, however, he came down so that he could drive semi for the landscape company that I was involved in because again, it was always about supporting what his son was doing. And so that that was the first lesson that I'd say I really learned from my father.
00:13:09:17 - 00:13:30:07
Wayne Mulder
And maybe that's something that will benefit you where no matter where you are in the stages of fatherhood. I think the second thing was to be yourself, right? So my dad was very much himself like I said, not the sports guy. He was definitely not. He was definitely not a people person. He wasn't he wasn't like that. That's a much longer conversation.
00:13:30:07 - 00:13:59:20
Wayne Mulder
Like he loved to have conversations with people like this whole podcasting thing. Absolutely. He would have loved this because he likes he loved conversations, walking to fairs and stuff. He would be there for hours as hours, hours. Talking with people like that was just the kind of man he was. But he was also very much himself. Like, he enjoyed television and that was very important to him and very few things would take him away from television sometimes, and that was okay.
00:13:59:20 - 00:14:17:16
Wayne Mulder
Right. And so even when he did things his way and his thinking or his idea maybe didn't work out the way that he thought it would or hoped that it would, he still was always willing to say, this is me and this is what I want to do and this is what I enjoy, and I'm just going to enjoy it.
00:14:17:16 - 00:14:48:25
Wayne Mulder
And to heck with the rest of you. And sometimes there is a place for that right? The problem we have now is we end up with people that want to placate everybody. And because of trying to placate everybody, you know, not only are you not yourself, you're actually not helping anybody either. So when we talk about things like early AM talk radio, my current love of talk radio, a lot of why I'm doing what I'm doing with this podcasting and hoping to build it into something like maybe a radio program of sorts or a television program is all based on my dad's love for Eminem talk radio.
00:14:48:25 - 00:15:08:09
Wayne Mulder
I grew up listening to, you know, guys like Rush Limbaugh, and I just really enjoyed these programs. And now what's funny is at the time I was like, Really, Dad, can we listen to music? You know? Right? Like in the nineties, it was like, but I won't listen to this band, man. This is, this is what all my buddies are listening to now.
00:15:08:17 - 00:15:33:17
Wayne Mulder
We were going to listen to them talk radio, my car, my rules. That's the way that went. But that was okay, right? So he had his way of doing things and my love for early country music. And when I say early country music, I mean what some people might call old country music. But, you know, the early days of Hank Williams and, you know, just that style of country music and what was on the amp dial back then.
00:15:33:23 - 00:15:56:19
Wayne Mulder
And that's all that love of that style. Music came from my father. And then same with deep thinking. Now some might jokingly say it was overthinking and they may not be joking, but still, even with overthinking this whole being willing to think things through, to critically look at them and to look at all the options that had a deep impact on me growing up in those was something I learned from my father.
00:15:57:09 - 00:16:14:18
Wayne Mulder
And then the third and final thing that I want to give you is have a relationship with your father and continue to cultivate it. And that's something that I learned from my dad. So, yes, I miss my dad immensely as anyone who has lost a parent can and will will agree and empathize with and feel that as well.
00:16:15:19 - 00:16:43:10
Wayne Mulder
And one of the main things is dad always support did what I had going on. Even when we vehemently disagreed on things, we certainly looked at things differently like we were not for as much as we were alike. In a lot of ways. We were also vastly different in a lot of ways. And because of that, like all sons, we definitely had our moments where we disagreed strongly on things which all fathers and sons should write like.
00:16:43:10 - 00:17:00:24
Wayne Mulder
That is part of that process of growing up, moving out of the house and so forth. But what happened is, is as I grew older is we always maintained a relationship and we had strengthened. Dad had done a great job of strengthening that relationship when we were younger. We spent a lot of time together, a lot of times it was based on things that were going on.
00:17:00:24 - 00:17:23:16
Wayne Mulder
Like we always had cars that broke down, so we spent a lot of time around auto repair shops. But that's okay because that relationship was still there, right? It was intentional and it allowed us to have this strong relationship, whether it was skipping church and staying home with dad and going shopping or those kind of things. I'm not saying these are necessarily good in and of themselves, but it developed a relationship.
00:17:23:16 - 00:17:43:04
Wayne Mulder
So as we got older or as I got older as well, Dad always had a genuine interest in the things that I had going on. He wanted to maintain that relationship and he always wanted to know what was going on. So when I would go to his house or he would come over to my house, there was always this part of Tell me more, tell me more, right?
00:17:43:10 - 00:18:01:16
Wayne Mulder
He wanted to know everything that I had going on and would want to know the minutia of it. Right. So what are you doing with the podcast wing? What? You know, who are you doing? What's your plan? What's the dream? What's the vision? All of that came from the questions that my father would ask because he would want to know more and more about what the dream was.
00:18:01:16 - 00:18:25:01
Wayne Mulder
So if you are listening to this and your father and mother or one or the other are still living, then I would strongly encourage you to give them a call. If it's been a little while, pick up the phone, have a chat with them. You never know. None of us are promised another day, not even another minute. So I would encourage you to make that phone call and to continue to develop and cultivate that relationship.
00:18:26:01 - 00:18:44:18
Wayne Mulder
So those were the things that came to mind when I sat down to think about a morning roll call for the day that I learned from my father that hopefully if you're a new father, maybe I'll give you something. And if you're older and your parents are older, maybe if nothing else, they'll take you back and give you an opportunity to reach out to your own parents.
00:18:45:09 - 00:19:08:06
Wayne Mulder
I want to, in this episode with something a little bit different, my early episodes of the morning roll call, you know, from time to time I read poetry. That's because I do write poetry. I know not a manly man thing to do, though I would argue that. But I do enjoy it. So shortly after his passing a year ago, within a couple of days, I was going to be speaking, as did my siblings at the at my father's funeral.
00:19:09:17 - 00:19:23:18
Wayne Mulder
And one of the things I want to do is read a poem. So I wrote a poem. It it's not really a personal memoir. I know sometimes when I say I wrote a poem for my dad, I think some people expect it to be a much more personal memoir. But again, I wrote it within just a couple of days of his passing.
00:19:23:18 - 00:19:50:11
Wayne Mulder
And what I was really concentrating on and thinking about was more that our parents are with us through seasons of life. Right? That that's the way God intended it. And we have seasons. And there's so much about that relationship between parent and child that echoes our relationship with the creator. It echoes our lives. It echoes our relationships outside of it.
00:19:50:26 - 00:20:12:14
Wayne Mulder
And so I thought it was important to write something or what came to me was writing something that really talked about the seasons of life that we go through and how it truly is a gift from God. And that ultimately to not take it for granted. So if you'll humor me and allow me to, but I would like to do is read for you the poem that I wrote a couple of days after my dad's passing.
00:20:13:04 - 00:20:41:04
Wayne Mulder
That kind of draws on these themes. It's called What Is a Dad? what is a Dad? I asked myself as I sat among the autumn grass, the cool air of fall enveloped me as the colors changed above and in the stillness came to me. Dad is the one who loves. What is a Dad? I asked myself as I sat above the snow in the quiet solitude of early morning, a frosty world expands and in the darkness came to me.
00:20:41:23 - 00:21:03:18
Wayne Mulder
A dad is the one who understands. What is a Dad? I asked myself, as crocus and Hyacinth arrived their brilliant color in full array to end the winter's air a warm breeze whispered to me, Dad is the one who cares. What is a Dad? I asked myself. As summer came around, the sun's radiance returning to earth, bringing warmer air in vibrant green.
00:21:03:18 - 00:21:24:04
Wayne Mulder
It spoke to me. Dad is the one who's there. What is a Dad? I guess I know. And maybe always have the one who loves, the one who cares, the one who understands, who is always there. Yet that didn't seem to tell it all. It seemed there was much more as seasons change on earth below stirred by air above.
00:21:24:26 - 00:21:38:15
Wayne Mulder
A dad is unchanging, stoic strength, an echo of God's great love. So that does it for this week's morning roll call. I'll see you Thursday in the interview room. In the meantime, I'm going to see you out there.
00:21:38:23 - 00:22:17:10
Wayne Mulder
On the blue Line.