PODCAST: Ten Ideas for Law Enforcement that will Improve their Personal Life | The Interview Room 054

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The On The Blue Line Podcast and Community has the mission of Empowering Cops in their personal lives and educating the public on the realities of law enforcement. This law enforcement podcast is focused on providing concepts, ideas, and actionable steps that can make a difference in your life. The morning roll call is a weekly monologue show with Wayne Mulder. The Interview Room podcast is an interview style format hosted by Wayne Mulder.

 

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In this episode,

Happy New Year!

 

     In this second of a two-part end-of-year special, we look back at some of the first OTBL podcasts that were released for The Interview Room. At the end of each episode, I ask the guest for a piece of advice that will make a difference in our personal lives. This show is a compilation of nine of these answers from The Interview Room.

 

These podcasts released in 2019 and 2020, so even if you have heard them before, there is good information here that is worth a second listen. If this is your first-time hearing these, links are below to the show notes pages to find the complete episode. All episodes are also available on most podcast streaming services.

 

1.   TIR 019, Released 08/20/2020. https://www.ontheblueline.com/podcast-show-notes/2020/08/20/podcast-the-importance-of-the-thin-blue-line-with-travis-arnold-the-interview-room-episode-019  

 

2.   TIR 020, Released 08/27/2020. https://www.ontheblueline.com/podcast-show-notes/2020/08/27/podcast-our-role-as-americas-keepers-with-ray-dietrich-the-interview-room-episode-020

 

3.   TIR 006, Released 11/07/2019. https://www.ontheblueline.com/podcast-show-notes/2019/11/07/podcast-a-story-of-hope-the-interview-room-006

 

4.   TIR 007, Released 01/09/2020. https://www.ontheblueline.com/podcast-show-notes/2020/01/09/podcast-making-first-responders-whole-again-with-vanessa-kennedy-the-interview-room-episode-007

 

5.   TIR 008, Released 01/16/2020. https://www.ontheblueline.com/podcast-show-notes/2020/01/16/podcast-welcome-home-with-ben-killoy-the-interview-room-episode-008

 

6.   TIR 010, Released 03/26/2020. https://www.ontheblueline.com/podcast-show-notes/2020/03/26/podcast-through-the-eyes-of-a-csi-with-tamara-mickelson-the-interview-room-episode-010

 

7.   TIR 011, Released 04/02/2020. https://www.ontheblueline.com/podcast-show-notes/2020/04/02/podcast-you-can-overcome-with-adam-davis-the-interview-room-episode-011

 

8.   TIR 021, Released 09/03/2020. https://www.ontheblueline.com/podcast-show-notes/2020/09/03/podcast-take-time-to-live-with-alex-sanfilippo-the-interview-room-episode-021  

 

9.   TIR 022, Released 09/10/2020. https://www.ontheblueline.com/podcast-show-notes/2020/09/10/podcast-bridging-the-gap-with-books-with-brady-tucker-the-interview-room-episode-022

 

10.  TIR 023, Released 09/17/2020. https://www.ontheblueline.com/podcast-show-notes/2020/09/17/podcast-the-importance-of-mindset-in-law-enforcement-with-carrie-wooten-the-interview-room-episode-023

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TRANSCRIPTION OF EPISODE. Please note this is a new service we are offering and there will be spelling, grammar and accuracy issues. This transcription is offered as a convenience to our listeners, but at this time it is not guaranteed to be accurate.

00;00;14;03 - 00;00;32;00

Wayne Mulder

Welcome, my friend, to the On the Blue Line podcast with Wayne Mulder, and I am your host. This is a law enforcement podcast where we discuss topics that will empower you on and off the job. Maybe you're tired, you're frustrated, feeling overworked, struggling to balance that work and home life demands. Or maybe you just simply need some encouragement.

00;00;32;07 - 00;01;05;27

Wayne Mulder

Well, then you know what? You've come to the right place. Happy New Year. On today's podcast, ten great pieces of advice for Law Enforcement officers compiled from episodes back in 2020 19 and 2020. But before we get to that, if you're just finding us, we have two weekly podcast. This one is the interview room. Like I said, today's is going to be a little bit different for the New Year, but typically it's a weekly interview show that releases every Thursday, and I sit down from sit down with guests from all walks of life, and we just go over something that can be beneficial to your personal or your professional life.

00;01;06;07 - 00;01;24;10

Wayne Mulder

And then the other podcast, Morning Roll Call, comes out on Mondays, and that's a weekly monologue show where just you and I get to sit down. If you haven't gone back and listen to this week's New Year's special. Definitely check that out. And there's also a tribute to a friend who passed away as well. So I encourage you to go back and listen to that one from last Monday.

00;01;24;10 - 00;01;52;04

Wayne Mulder

If you haven't had the opportunity yet, know that all shows are released now on YouTube and Rumble. So everything's on video and that's kind of what it's built around. So that is the best place to go. We now have over 100 subscribers on YouTube. I know. Laughable, but thank you. Every podcast that has more than a thousand viewers had to start out with one, and every one with a million had to start out with a thousand or start out with 100.

00;01;52;04 - 00;02;10;07

Wayne Mulder

So these are just stepping stones along the journey. And thank you so much for coming along. And you can always find out more about what's going on at OnTheBlueLine.com. ONtheblueline.com . So as I mentioned last week, if you listen to the last interview room show, which if you haven't, I encourage you to go back.

00;02;10;19 - 00;02;28;22

Wayne Mulder

That one was nine pieces of advice and today's is ten. So I wanted to do something different for the last two episodes of 2022 where there's a question that I ask at the end of every interview show, which is what is that one thing that law enforcement officers can do that will make a difference in their personal lives?

00;02;29;09 - 00;02;54;20

Wayne Mulder

So I get great answers from all the different guests who have come on the show. So I really enjoyed going back and listening to them again and then putting them in here. So this is going back to shows that released in 2000, 2019 and 2020, in the very early days of the podcast. And we just kind of sit down and we go through all sorts of different topics.

00;02;54;21 - 00;03;13;00

Wayne Mulder

But that's something that really stuck out to me as I was going back through these is the variety of topics. And yet, as you'll see again, there seems to be some overriding themes of things that will help us in our everyday life. So sorry if you're watching this on video, there's not video for every clip. There are for about half and half.

00;03;13;00 - 00;03;31;29

Wayne Mulder

That's why they're not in sequential order, because some of the earliest episodes, no video was actually recorded. We just use video for the actual interview itself. So those are kind of interspersed throughout the other ones. But some of them, the advice and the information is so good that I definitely did not want to leave it out of these compilation episodes.

00;03;32;08 - 00;03;51;17

Wayne Mulder

And then I know that these are only about 2 to 5 minutes in length on average. So they're not very long. This is a shorter episode, so I hope you enjoy these. And if you go down to the show notes, there's a link. No matter what platform you're watching this on, there is a link below. They'll take you to the show Notes page on our website.

00;03;51;17 - 00;04;11;07

Wayne Mulder

And on that show Notes Page is a link to all of these episodes. So if you listen to one and you're like, Man, I really want to hear the rest of this conversation, or if it's one you'd never heard, then I encourage you to click on those and go back and listen to them. So without taking any more time, let's get to this week's special and let's hear this great advice.

00;04;14;15 - 00;04;35;06

Wayne Mulder

All right. So we start this week was sitting down. This was episode 19 of the Interview Room released on August 20th of 2020. And I sat down with Travis Arnold for the episode that was called The Importance of the Thin Blue Line. And I think you're going to really like the point that he makes here. Me ask you one question.

00;04;35;06 - 00;04;46;20

Wayne Mulder

I ask everybody kind of like that final takeaway. What is the one thing, the one takeaway that law enforcement officers can do? Because we talked a lot a lot of different things, but what's the one thing they can do that's going to make a difference in their personal lives?

00;04;47;05 - 00;05;20;15

Travis Arnold

Stop trying to separate the badge from your personal life. Except and get the support on both sides of things. Yeah. I've been married now for 11 years. My wife, we were just dating when I went into the academy. She's been through thick and thin with me, and I never separated anything from her. She had experienced all of the problems that I brought in from the street, but it was her support that helped me through a lot of this.

00;05;21;26 - 00;05;37;18

Travis Arnold

It's okay to shed away that shell or that bubble that we create and let some people into your lives to help deal with some of the stuff that you got on your shoulders.

00;05;37;18 - 00;05;59;10

Wayne Mulder

So the next episode that came out, episode 20 of the Interview Room, I sat down with Ray Dietrich and this one released on 827 of 2020. And the title of this episode is Our Role as America's Keepers. And remember that for some of these, they came out in late 2020. So you remember everything that was going on, the chaos.

00;05;59;25 - 00;06;29;01

Wayne Mulder

This was the summer of mostly peaceful riots and all that was going on. We had just we were in the height of COVID. And so you're going to really hear some of these responses tailored to that environment and to that world. So let's hear what Ray had to say. But if we're going to boil it down, if we're going to create that one, take away, what is that one thing that law enforcement officers can do that's going to make a difference in their personal lives?

00;06;29;01 - 00;06;31;17

Wayne Mulder

I'm kind of that one takeaway that someone can take from the show.

00;06;33;02 - 00;06;53;14

Ray Dietrich

Well, that's a that's a that's a rough question. Or the one take away that can make them better in their personal lives is to not not feel personally attacked by what's happening. It's not about the individual officer. You're a part of a bigger machine. It was very hard for me, like after Ferguson, honestly, It's like where I felt like everybody hated us for for for that time.

00;06;53;22 - 00;07;11;15

Ray Dietrich

But to kind of like, decentralize from that, stay away from that feeling that it's attack on you. It's attack on on law and order. You know, it's not it's not specifically you. You cannot get wrapped up in that emotionally because it'll destroy you and that's letting them destroy you. Like, don't let them in to screw your head up, period.

00;07;11;15 - 00;07;37;26

Ray Dietrich

Like, the more you can protect your, your, your well, your mental health. I mean, that's the most important thing I see. Like, you know, like the suicide factor in this job is incredible. Like, I've been touched by that personally numerous times kind of thing. The the takeaway is make sure you go home at the end of the day and that end of the career, you can still hang out with your kids and be a normal person no matter what.

00;07;37;26 - 00;08;08;05

Wayne Mulder

All right. So going back to episode six, released on 11 seven of 2019, Jonathan Hickory came on the show and the name of his episode was A Story of Hope. And we talked about his book. His book later became a movie. Definitely go to the show notes if you haven't seen it. Really powerful content. And the question I asked him and the next guest was a little different because like I said, in the early days, I hadn't quite formulated that final question of the show.

00;08;08;05 - 00;08;29;28

Wayne Mulder

So for him I asked, What can agency do agencies do to help officers? So here's what Jonathan had to say. Or one to come. One of the final questions that I ask everybody, and this is just kind of looking at the other side of the coin. In your opinion, what is one of the most important things that agencies can do to help law enforcement officers in their personal lives?

00;08;30;15 - 00;08;55;17

Jonathan Hickory

I think that every department has to have a peer support team that is well-trained so that they can recognize. I'm not talking about just critical incident stress management debriefing. So like, you know, something really screwy happens and they do a debrief so that everybody's not traumatized for life. That's important too. But you'll find that if those are not mandatory, that's something that nobody shows up to.

00;08;55;17 - 00;09;47;14

Jonathan Hickory

It seems like it's like that whole we're tough and we can handle it. So peer support team that is trained to kind of know when, like there's warning signs and when officers are maybe starting to act in a manner that they are crying out for help without actually crying out for help. I think that's very important. But I also think that if an officer does ask for help, there needs to be like time off, but don't take their badge and gun away, like give them 30 days minimum to to go and and do things for their own wellness, maybe require a visit with a counselor or something like that.

00;09;47;25 - 00;10;16;21

Jonathan Hickory

But but don't take their risk because then, like, that's the beginning of the end for them. They feel like I trusted my department. They took my badge and gun away. So what does that you know, one other thing that agencies can do for their officers is instead of dealing with it as a knee jerk reaction and dealing with it, only when an officer asks for help or is come to the end of themselves and now got arrested for DUI or something like that.

00;10;16;21 - 00;10;51;29

Jonathan Hickory

Off duty. There needs to be policy like there needs to be like open communication about it from the top down. You know, there needs to be top level administrators in the department talking openly about it, saying like, look, this is real stuff. Trauma is real, post-traumatic stress is real. And if you are, we want to be the first wants to tell you that they can come to us for help, that we will not ostracize you, that we will not condemn you, that we will fully support you and your family.

00;10;52;05 - 00;10;59;19

Jonathan Hickory

And we just want you to heal so that you can be the best officer that you can be for our department. That's what every police department. It's a do.

00;11;01;19 - 00;11;26;06

Wayne Mulder

A great it wasn't it? I mean, Jonathan is so right. I tell you, when it comes to well-trained peer support and we've come a long ways in a few years, but it is still something that so many agencies don't have. So the next guest was from the interview Room seven that released on January 9th, 2020, and I sat down with Vanessa Kennedy for an episode titled Making First Responders Whole Again.

00;11;26;18 - 00;11;42;27

Wayne Mulder

And in that one, I again asked that final question What is it that agencies can do to help their officers? So let's hear what Vanessa had to say. What do you think is the most important thing that agencies can do to help law enforcement officers in their personal lives?

00;11;43;12 - 00;12;11;28

Vanessa Kennedy

I think the most important thing right now to be honest with you, is to give them the proper resources to handle that themselves. I don't think an officer personal life because it will. Whether you think it does now or not, it will come back and it will bite you in the ass because if something happens or your attitude changes or whatever the case may be, believe me, it will come back up.

00;12;12;00 - 00;12;31;14

Vanessa Kennedy

If you are sitting there talking about what goes on in your personal life, don't don't do that. I think these departments need to give the proper resources to first responders to handle that stuff themselves on the outside. That's just my opinion on that.

00;12;31;14 - 00;13;00;19

Wayne Mulder

So the next episode was from the interview. Room eight came out on 116 of 2020 with Ben Kilroy and the title of that episode was Welcome Home. And Ben, I really consider him a friend. He's a really great guy. Our paths have crossed on numerous occasions and we got to go to a podcast movement together and I just really like what Ben is doing, and since then he's really pushed into the speaking, the public speaking space and is doing just amazing things.

00;13;01;00 - 00;13;16;11

Wayne Mulder

But I think the advice that he has here, though, he's coming at it from a military standpoint, as you will hear, applies equally to those of us in law enforcement. So let's hear we've been has to say.

00;13;16;11 - 00;13;34;28

Ben Killoy

So I would say the if I frame this to like my kids, my goal is to give them enough experiences, to give them a very wide view of the American dream. And Andy Stern for Navy SEAL gave me this, that our obligation as a dad to give our kids the widest view of the American dream and that there's just not one path.

00;13;34;28 - 00;14;00;11

Ben Killoy

And going to school for 12 years isn't going to figure out the widest view for them. So I want my kids to have an experience of traveling internationally, seeing other cultures, seeing other people choose to live their life and just seeing how other paths are taken, and that there's not just one flavor of ice cream, because that to me gives them the momentum and the clarity to go out of the world and and make that dad faster and sooner because they maybe graduate from high school knowing exactly where they want to go.

00;14;01;19 - 00;14;28;26

Ben Killoy

For me, I want to kind of just create a space where right now there's nothing more I want than just to be dad. And for me, that creating a space for that emotion to thrive right now. And I would say as I grow further passes something else I would love for this to turn into a public speaking in that I do talks around the country on this topic and helping others go second after I've gone first and share my story and hopefully maybe cancel out that thought.

00;14;28;26 - 00;14;54;13

Ben Killoy

But and past that, I don't really know. But right now I just know that I want to be a dad and I know that I want to create a space for that to happen. And I want to make sure my kids have a very wide view and I've often just use India as an example that there's a lot of life benefit from seeing someone in India with nothing that has a smile on their face, because in America we get it wrong that you need the Apple Watch in your hand, have a smile.

00;14;54;26 - 00;15;04;01

Ben Killoy

But in India, there's literally someone has nothing and they have the biggest smile they've ever seen. And that's a a lesson for the heart that I think every kid needs to know before they become adult.

00;15;04;12 - 00;15;21;23

Wayne Mulder

Yes. And if we could just get that through to so many people, you're right. That's powerful because of just the way we look at things and the way younger people look at things. And we don't realize the power of just being happy to be alive, being thankful to be alive.

00;15;22;18 - 00;15;45;26

Ben Killoy

Yeah. And it's gotten to Steve Jobs thing. I like to describe the universe as a wall in that when someone walks by that wall, they're going to say that Dent was the keloids and that's what our above gets. That's the the, the, the ability we have as a dad, a military dad or a dad in blue because of the life we've experience, we've experienced life in a way that only 1% of the population even comes close to touching that.

00;15;45;26 - 00;16;02;15

Ben Killoy

Think of the adults that we can create if we can share the experiences and craft really a memorable experiences for our kids to go out into the world and change it. And another thing that comes from Andy Stump, he says as a Navy SEAL, he was trained to be the most effective killer on the face of the earth.

00;16;03;11 - 00;16;22;20

Ben Killoy

But his effectiveness was only the range of how far his rifle could fire. So if the rifle was had a max effective range of 500 yards, no matter how much training, 500 yards was his max effective? If you're in blue that your Mac defensive range could be the range of your pistol no matter how well you train. That's the max effective range you have as an officer.

00;16;23;05 - 00;16;41;07

Ben Killoy

But as a dad, you can literally go a decades into the future, centuries into the future with your. Where do you think some of the names of people are remembered today from 200 years ago? That's the 200 year dent that they made in the universe, that people are still remembering their name. And there's another blog post. The veteran is only forgotten when people stop remembering their name.

00;16;41;18 - 00;16;48;08

Ben Killoy

And if you create a legacy so strong that your kids can't help but create a wave, your name will always be remembered. And that's the true legacy.

00;16;48;27 - 00;16;49;23

Wayne Mulder

Wow.

00;16;49;23 - 00;17;20;03

Wayne Mulder

You know that. That is so life changing. I hope that for the listeners and so forth listening this it's I know that I have been moved on some of these points too, because it's so powerful what the opportunity we have. And I think sometimes we forget that. And I know for sure as being a, you know, small business owner and trying to do these other things, we forget, like you said early on, we have all the opportunity in the world just sitting in the other room, in the living room, playing video game right now, you know, taking the kids.

00;17;20;03 - 00;17;29;06

Wayne Mulder

And they have helping change their life and helping give them that strong foundation can literally change the world.

00;17;29;06 - 00;17;54;02

Ben Killoy

Yeah. And and we're going back to like kids Bell of Tammy. It's some simple stupid examples Now it's winter like the number one thing and even during summer when I would tell the kids it's not winter yet their number one thing if I ask my any given week and what they want to do, they go mall walking. And it was something stupid I came up with like two years ago where we just went to the mall in town for it opened and the old people were walking around getting their laps in and we would start at one end and they would run to the other.

00;17;54;02 - 00;18;13;12

Ben Killoy

We would do some games and get a pretzel and Orange Julius and that is literally the number one thing that my kids asked to do is to go mall walking. And it is the simplest, stupidest thing or time investment that I do. But for them it's like a nuke of investment in love and theoretically. But it doesn't have to be complicated.

00;18;13;12 - 00;18;25;09

Ben Killoy

It can be something as simple as going for a walk. It can be something as simple. Even we are used to. When my kids were sleeping, my younger two, I would take my oldest to go get groceries and we would go to the mall and have a pretzel and we would have a conversation about what was going on in school.

00;18;25;12 - 00;18;44;06

Ben Killoy

Yeah, like it doesn't have to be complicated, but those moments can be ones where you really start to make like you can think legacy is something complicated, but it begins in the micro moments where you're just having a conversation with your kids. Like my oldest, we talk and we've recently started journaling every day of something that made her.

00;18;44;15 - 00;18;59;26

Ben Killoy

She was grateful for something made her happy, something made her sad and something 1% that she wants to work on better for tomorrow. And we've become a couple of different versions of this. We've gone through just kind of a bedtime talk, which my younger one, and we just tell jokes to each other. But that still creates a very safe space between me and her.

00;19;00;23 - 00;19;14;12

Ben Killoy

We did something my oldest called Bird Poop Talk, which was inspired by a book that someday a bird will poop on you, that no matter what you do in the universe, someday somewhere in the world, a bird just pooped on someone's shoulder despite how happy they were. And it's up to you to decide how you want to react to it.

00;19;14;12 - 00;19;28;21

Ben Killoy

So we would call it bird poop talk. They talk about all the kids that poop under in the day and how she reacted and how she could do it differently. Something simple and still a bit end, but getting them to talk about what they're feeling and labeling it that is so powerful that for them to be able to to move forward.

00;19;28;25 - 00;19;38;00

Wayne Mulder

Absolutely it as well. Then as we get down towards the end here, is there anything that maybe I haven't asked about that do you want my listeners to know and our listeners to know?

00;19;39;18 - 00;20;00;06

Ben Killoy

I think this final piece I recently gave it on Veterans Day to my daughters elementary school, talk about a killer speech that was thought like I was going to explode with anxiety. Talking to from kindergarten to third graders about Veterans Day. I didn't explode, though, that the best thing that you can do for someone in blue is friendship.

00;20;00;16 - 00;20;17;28

Ben Killoy

And same thing, I'm sure for veterans that being in blue or serving in the military is a very lonely business, and especially on the other side. Friendships aren't something that we're good at and we have a lot of stories going inside, and the best thing you can do is to be the friend and be the rainbow that comes after their storm.

00;20;18;10 - 00;20;33;25

Ben Killoy

Because you could be that something beautiful that transforms their story and storm unless it pass. And that friendship is how I move my life forward. And it's some of the best things that I even offered today that I don't have any products yet, but I offer friendship for free and I'm the friend I wish I had five years ago for others.

00;20;34;19 - 00;20;46;16

Wayne Mulder

That that's great. And that is something that we talk about a lot. And on this podcast and in other formats, it's that importance of relationship and how that really is the basis of human life.

00;20;46;16 - 00;21;06;02

Ben Killoy

And going back to talking to people, you need that connection. That community is one of the big, big takeaways I take in that you need. Maybe I'll rattle off my four top takeaways or for my four top takeaways. My podcasts are. Your legacy of your family is what counts. You need a community and a tribe. We've done life together as men for 3000 years.

00;21;06;02 - 00;21;22;28

Ben Killoy

In a tribe, we need to have a tribe to do it together. We were never designed to do life alone. You need to have you can think of the third one, but I can skip to the fourth one that you need to be able to prioritize your wife because that commitment with your wife is the one that you've made till the end of time and that your kids are going to betray you.

00;21;23;09 - 00;21;41;16

Ben Killoy

They're going to leave you. But your commitment to your wife will always be there. Your priorities always need to be your wife first and your kids second, and making sure your kids even see that example will also help them go out into the world and get married. Understand how to have their own life prioritized. Because the commitment that's what only second commitment closes to death.

00;21;41;28 - 00;22;01;10

Ben Killoy

That the one commitment, it goes all the way. The end is the one that's on your finger and you've committed to do life long past your kids. And you need to make sure that your priorities are aligned with that as well. It'll long live your career. Everything will transcend in a shorter time than your marriage because your marriage is all the way to the end.

00;22;01;10 - 00;22;23;08

Wayne Mulder

Isn't been so correct. I mean, when it comes to how important strong families, strong marriages are, that's what's going to last longer than this career. Your health may not your health may not allow you to make it to the end of the career. Other factors may happen, but your family will be there after this career. And that is why it's so important to strengthen our families.

00;22;23;08 - 00;22;46;09

Wayne Mulder

And I think what Ben had to say is just so important. Our next guest from episode ten, released in 326 of 2020, and it was Tamara Mickelson, and she had a book that was just phenomenal. And the title of that episode episode, which played off the title of the book, was Through the Eyes of a CSI. And I think you're going to really like what she had to say.

00;22;46;09 - 00;23;04;28

Wayne Mulder

So let me ask you kind of a general question. I ask everybody, what is the best advice or the single most important thing that you think from your experience in law enforcement and CSI and so forth that can help law enforcement officers in their everyday lives and their lives away from the job? What would be that one thing?

00;23;05;17 - 00;23;22;27

Tamara Mickelson

Oh, away from the job. Okay, talk. Just just talk. You have to talk to someone. And I say this all the time and I'm going to say it again. You've got to find someone to talk to. A lot of people go home and they don't want to talk to their wives or husbands because it's a burden or they won't understand.

00;23;23;10 - 00;23;53;02

Tamara Mickelson

They don't want to talk to their non cop friends because they won't understand. So you have to just try to find a person and keep that person in your life that you can talk about your calls, your scenes, anything that's going on in life, you have to have someone there. So find someone, find a couple someones, go to a counselor, find someone that you feel comfortable with, and just talk because otherwise you're going to fall apart and it's going to go 20 years later and then you're retiring and then everything's going to come back and hit you in the face like it did me.

00;23;53;09 - 00;23;57;18

Tamara Mickelson

So just talk.

00;23;57;18 - 00;24;17;13

Wayne Mulder

So are you starting to see a theme here? I definitely did as I was putting this together. So next, let's hear what Adam Davis, he was on episode one of the interview room that came out in April 2nd of 2020, and the title of that episode was You Can Overcome. So let's hear what Adam has to say.

00;24;17;13 - 00;24;44;05

Adam Davis

Well, there's a lot so but one wanted to remember why you're here. Remember why you're here. You know your identity isn't tied to that badge. That is that's an awesome, awesome call you've answered, which your identity is tied to a relationship with God. And maybe you're listening. You're like, I don't believe in all this good stuff, but I want it.

00;24;45;06 - 00;25;14;11

Adam Davis

You know what? I get it. But I'm telling you, there's a better way and there's only one who came to rescue me in a patrol car that day. And his name is Jesus. And remember why you're here and remembering why you're here means that you have to remember who put you here. Remember that we're sheep dogs under the authority of the great Shepherd, and that we have to keep our focus on you know, and respond to the call with him as our ultimate backup.

00;25;15;07 - 00;25;19;26

Adam Davis

Remember why you're here.

00;25;19;26 - 00;25;41;09

Wayne Mulder

I think that is such a powerful sentiment for no matter where you are in life. Remember why you are here, whether it's your job, whether it's your family. Remember your calling, Remember why you came to whatever it is that you're doing and why you do what you do. I think that's just such a powerful, powerful lesson. So now we're going to jump ahead to episode 21 of the interview room.

00;25;41;09 - 00;26;06;04

Wayne Mulder

It came out on nine three of 2020, and I sat down with Alex Sanfilippo. And what Alex has done for the podcast community. This guy is brilliant and he's just has such a heart for helping other people and what he's doing for podcasters for small independent podcasters, is just phenomenal. It's really neat to have seen since the time that he was on my show to now just how far he's come.

00;26;06;04 - 00;26;25;06

Wayne Mulder

It's amazing. But the name of that episode was Take Time to Live, and I think he has some pretty good advice for us. Let's hear what Alex had to say. So let's boil it down. What is the one thing, the one takeaway that the listener can take away from this that could help law enforcement officers or anybody in their life at home?

00;26;26;07 - 00;26;51;05

Alex Sanfilippo

Yeah, I think that all of us, we want to change the world, right? I have to believe that we want to make the world a better place. And there's two quotes I'm going to give here. One is do for one what you wish you could do for all. So the one person or for the police officers, the many people you interact with, treat them in a way that you'd want to treat everybody, So do for that one person, which you wish you can do for all, even if it means, you know, like actually doing something to to reprimand them, like make sure that you treat them in a way that you wish you could treat

00;26;51;05 - 00;27;06;11

Alex Sanfilippo

everybody. And the other thing is love people for who they are, not for what they do. We have to learn to love people because they are people and in my mind, created in God's image. That is another human being that has the same rights that I do love them for that not for the decisions they choose to make.

00;27;06;22 - 00;27;12;22

Alex Sanfilippo

And I think that if we can do these things, we can really make the world a better place together.

00;27;12;22 - 00;27;34;29

Wayne Mulder

Treating others how we want to be treated. It seems to me that that is fundamental to just about everything in life. But here's some other great advice from episode 22 of the interview room. Came out of 910 of 2020, and I sat down with Brady Tucker for an episode called Bridging the Gap with books.

00;27;34;29 - 00;27;53;09

Brady Tucker

Well, I think you might know my answer to this one that's read more books. It's kind of my whole mission. And and it's changed my life. It's changed some of the people's lives around me. And I think that it could change a lot of people's lives if they just if they just read more. And because it's not just the reading that translate, it translates to everything.

00;27;53;09 - 00;28;09;05

Brady Tucker

It's kind of an accountability thing. You and consistency, really, if you're consistent enough to do that, you're going to be consistent enough to work out or consistent enough to do your homework or whatever it is that you need to do.

00;28;09;05 - 00;28;37;01

Wayne Mulder

Reading books, listening to podcasts, going to conventions, all these things are educational growth opportunities. And if you've listened this podcast for any length of time, and if you're the type of person that listens to those podcasts, then you probably are the kind of person who's looking for growth opportunities. So what Brady had to say is so important. So the next and final interview number ten for this week, we go back to the interview Room 23 where I sat down with Carrie Wooten.

00;28;37;01 - 00;28;59;10

Wayne Mulder

This was back in 2020, and the name of this episode was the importance of mindset in law enforcement. And I really just I loved her answer, and it was one of the first people who said it on the show, and it just kind of went from there. So let's hear what Carrie had to say. So let me ask you a final question that I kind of ask everybody.

00;29;00;18 - 00;29;13;02

Wayne Mulder

We've we've touched on so many ideas and so many different things. But if you were going to boil it down to one thing that is actually actionable, that would make a different difference in law enforcement officers lives, what would that be?

00;29;13;25 - 00;29;41;10

Carrie Wooten

And the very first thing I have all of my students do, and this is the warm and fuzzy part, but there's a there's a reason for it is, if not already, start a gratitude journal. Write your gratitude journal every single morning or night when whatever your whatever your day starts. Right. And I have them list ten buds and we can talk about another time.

00;29;41;26 - 00;30;03;00

Carrie Wooten

We know what actually does to your brain and things like that. But as you create this habit of writing ten things that you're grateful for, it will shift. You actually change the chemicals in your brain to see the positive side of situations when you are at work. Wow. Takes a little bit of time, like any muscle, but write down those things that you are grateful for.

00;30;03;07 - 00;30;32;12

Carrie Wooten

And it's a it's a perspective check, right? When things are bad, it's okay. Things are really bad right now. But I I'm going home to my significant other, you know? But no matter what, you know, I still have food on my table, right? I saw a roof over my head. I mean, those things that we don't always acknowledge and we do take for granted, You know, the supervisor that's driving us crazy, Hey, I'm employed and I have a supervisor right now.

00;30;32;12 - 00;30;34;04

Carrie Wooten

It's COVID. Not everyone can say that.

00;30;34;12 - 00;30;39;29

Wayne Mulder

That's right. You know, not everybody is, quote unquote, essential. And some are really struggling right now.

00;30;40;08 - 00;30;52;06

Carrie Wooten

That's right. So you like the essential workers? Yes. You know, as painful as that may be, we do have a lot of these things that we just don't take notice of. So that's the first one as gratitude practice.

00;30;52;14 - 00;31;02;04

Wayne Mulder

I love that. Any parameters, rules or anything associated with that, because I know you mentioned some work things and home things. Do you tell them to kind of do a blend of both or.

00;31;02;27 - 00;31;10;24

Carrie Wooten

Yeah, I say a blend of both because you should have positives in both, right? You probably also have challenges in both.

00;31;10;24 - 00;31;11;04

Wayne Mulder

Always.

00;31;11;04 - 00;31;20;17

Carrie Wooten

Usually one falls into stems the other. Yes. Right. The argument at home now makes you a little grumpy at work and vice versa.

00;31;20;17 - 00;31;25;24

Wayne Mulder

Right. And then that's what is inevitably a bad night at work that makes you grumpy at home when you get back in the cycle.

00;31;25;24 - 00;31;48;15

Carrie Wooten

Exactly. Yeah. So as much as we all say it's separate, let's just be honest with ourselves for a second. And if you don't see it, gentlemen, anyway, your wife definitely sees it. Yes, without a doubt. You're not hiding. She sees it as soon as you walk in the door. So no parameters. It just has to be genuine, you know.

00;31;48;15 - 00;32;08;04

Carrie Wooten

Don't say you know, my dog, my kid, my house, my, you know, whatever. You should actually have an emotional response where by the time I getting to the end of that list, you might even be smiling because you are feeling really good about all the things going on in your life right now.

00;32;08;04 - 00;32;36;13

Wayne Mulder

So I hope you enjoyed that. I tell you, I really thought there were some great themes when I was putting these ten together and I thought that it was perfect for the new year here we are in the final few days of 2022, we're looking ready to 2023 and maybe there's something in here, something a little nugget that you can take, whether it's how we treat others, whether it's peer support at our agencies or whether it's something as simple as starting a gratitude practice, maybe a gratitude journal or gratitude practice of some sort.

00;32;36;13 - 00;32;57;05

Wayne Mulder

For 2023, I encourage you to consider these things. I tell you the guests that we've had on, it's just amazing to get to sit at their feet, hear what they've done in their own lives, the challenges they've had, how they've overcome them, and the things that we can learn from it. And it's such a privilege. Be able to sit there and listen to them and then to be able to pass that information on to you.

00;32;57;05 - 00;33;20;12

Wayne Mulder

So I hope you enjoyed this. I hope you get some actionable advice for the new year. Happy New Year to you. I will see you in 2023 with all new episodes of The Interview Room and Morning Roll Call. And that will do it for 2022. Don't forget that. I will see you next Monday, which will be a new year in Morning Roll Call and next Thursday in the interview room.

00;33;20;19 - 00;33;36;22

Wayne Mulder

But in the meantime, I'll see you on the blue line.

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