BLOG: Personal Accountability
One of the common themes of the stories I bring you week after week on the On The Blue Line Podcast, Morning Roll Call, is the idea of personal accountability. It is lacking in individuals portrayed in many of the scenarios I present. This lack of personal accountability, coupled with a system that fails to hold people accountable for their actions when they cannot, or will not, themselves, leads to the tragedies we discuss.
We see every day in the media the issues from a lack of taking personal responsibility and holding oneself accountable. However, a civil government must fill this void when people cannot and will not hold themselves responsible and their actions adversely affect others. This responsibility is a foundational principle of law enforcement
However, I think the lesson for this week is not that people need to be held accountable. The lesson is more reflective and is the fact that we fail to hold ourselves responsible.
Personal accountability can be a struggle- at least, I know it is a struggle for me. We all face the same struggles, addictions, and demons that prevent us from knowing what we should do in our lives. Whether talking about fitness and nutrition, goal setting, not retreating from difficult conversations, not checking out in our lives at home, or a host of other battles, we often fail to hold ourselves accountable.
“However, I think the lesson for this week is not that people need to be held accountable. The lesson is more reflective and is the fact that we fail to hold ourselves responsible. ”
How do I know? Because it is a default for me. I often feel like the Biblical Apostle Paul, who said, “For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” (Rom. 7:15)
How familiar that feels. I want to work out tonight, so let’s order a pizza instead.
What the heck is that?
But we all do it, whatever is your vice, your addiction, your weakness- we find ourselves not doing what we should do and then, by contrast, do the same behavior- typically a self-sabotaging behavior- that we don’t want to be doing.
“Well, it is someone just a little bit farther down the path. It doesn’t have to be the person who allegedly “has it all figured out.” Especially since, in reality, you will find that person DOES NOT have it all figured out and doesn’t exist.”
I don’t just want to leave you with this self-realization. I want to offer you a few steps that we all can take.
First, we need Mentors, but who is a mentor in this context?
Well, it is someone just a little bit farther down the path. It doesn’t have to be the person who allegedly “has it all figured out.” Especially since, in reality, you will find that person DOES NOT have it all figured out and doesn’t exist. If my goal is to lose weight- which I hate to say is back on the top of my list again due to some health struggles- then the mentor I need just has to be someone who has found ways to stay consistent in their health goals, not necessarily a fitness model.
A second tool, which can be the same person or a different person entirely, is to find someone who can fill the position of an accountability partner.
An accountability partner doesn’t have to be some formal, stuffy relationship. It’s not like you need to post on a job board: “Needed one stern, accountability partner.” No. It can simply be a good friend, a family member, or a co-worker.
It is someone with you on the journey who is willing to be there to hold you accountable.
A person who will call you up and say, “Hey, you said you wanted to write five pages a day to get that book done by the end of the year. How is that coming along? Is there anything I can do to help you reach that goal? Oh, writer’s block? Tell you what, let’s have a cup of coffee and discuss this.”
That is a friend who will hold you accountable to your dreams, goals, and aspirations.
The third and last step I want to leave you with today may seem counterintuitive, but it is to be kind to yourself.
You have to make time for self-care and cannot beat yourself up when you feel like you are not meeting the mark. This negative internal dialogue is probably one of my biggest struggles and areas where I, too, must improve. I can very quickly be my most demanding, most unforgiving critic.
If we don’t take care of ourselves and instead get into this self-loathing cycle, it often leads to the very behaviors we are trying to avoid. Especially for those who struggle with addictive-type behaviors, attacking yourself leads to more of the comforting actions and behaviors that you were most likely trying to avoid in the first place.
The bottom line is to forgive ourselves while holding ourselves accountable to a higher standard. We are achieving this through our relationships of being around people that will help us stay accountable.
Have a Blessed week!
This Blog Post Appeared first at OnTheBlueLine.com. All Rights Reserved. October 2022
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Wayne Mulder is a law enforcement officer, speaker, writer and the host of the On The Blue Line podcast. Wayne is an advocate for law enforcement officer total health programs and a believer in empowering law enforcement officers in their personal lives. For more on his mission visit OnTheBlueLine.com.