PODCAST: Are you balancing Work, Family, and Growth? How YOU can find Freedom Outside Your Comfort Zone | 179
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Show Notes from This Episode:
EPISODE OVERVIEW
Here are a few key points that I emphasize in this podcast episode:
1. Goal Setting and Prioritization: I talk about the importance of setting clear goals and identifying non-negotiables in life. I believe in planning and dedicating specific times to different priorities, such as work, family, and personal development, however I do not prescribe to the idea of a balanced life. Life is about seasons and growth is often found in these seasons.
2. Stepping Outside Comfort Zones: I discuss the concept that "freedom is found in fear," suggesting that personal growth often happens outside of our comfort zones. For me, challenging tasks like public speaking or business outreach can be intimidating, but they are essential for achieving my goals.
ABOUT THE SHOW
We know first-hand the struggle of trying not to take the job home with us and let it affect our families. We know the toll the law enforcement career can have on marriages and relationships. And we also have been frustrated by the lack of authentic leadership in our agencies. This Law Enforcement Podcast was designed to help you overcome the mental toll of the law enforcement career and the negative effects it can have on your personal life.
Hosted by active-duty law enforcement, we bring you two weekly podcasts. On Thursday, in The Interview Room we sit down with amazing guests who provide actionable advice on leadership, mental health, and relationships from their lived experiences. On Monday, in Morning Roll Call, you and I enjoy a cup of coffee and discuss current events, offer encouragement, and discuss practical steps for achieving the life we were meant to live. If you’re ready to become a better leader and protector on and off the job, then, please, scroll up and click follow to join us on the journey.
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LINKS:
- Get the eBook, “How the law enforcement makes you cynical and what you can do about it” by Wayne Mulder.
The On The Blue Line Podcast has a mission of creating a world where law enforcement life expectancies are EQUAL with the general population.
An On The Blue Line Media LLC production.
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TRANSCRIPTION OF EPISODE. Please note this is a new service we are offering and there will be spelling, grammar and accuracy issues. This transcription is offered as a convenience to our listeners, but at this time it is not guaranteed to be accurate.
00:00:02:00 - 00:00:18:03
Wayne Mulder
Hey, everybody doing something a little bit different this week. This is going to replace one of the podcast episodes, so I hope you enjoyed what I'm going to talk about here. It's going to be quick and it's right here from the office. I do want to say one thing is, if you're not following us on our YouTube channel, it's that on the blue line.
00:00:18:03 - 00:00:34:22
Wayne Mulder
Make sure you check that out. We'd love for you to join us there. One of the things we're going to be doing is some live episodes, and that is going to start as soon as Friday. And depending on when this releases, Friday may have been the last Friday, which means you missed it. But that's okay if you follow us on social media, you would have seen it there.
00:00:34:29 - 00:00:44:26
Wayne Mulder
So please be sure to check that out. And other than that, everything else about what we're trying to do is that, the blue line.com on the blue line.com.
00:00:44:26 - 00:00:50:18
Unknown
Cause you know it's only gonna get better. Yeah, the.
00:00:50:18 - 00:01:15:02
Speaker 2
Seasons know when you break the law. If you decide to do this, we're gonna hold you responsible. You are the only good thing in someone's worst day. That is a privilege for a police officer. At the very least, you could honor the sacrifices of police officers and their families. We have the ability to save the Republic.
00:01:15:05 - 00:01:16:09
Unknown
Gonna keep.
00:01:16:09 - 00:01:28:21
Wayne Mulder
So today I just want to bring you one quick thought. Right. I just want to discuss something. So I've been making a series a list of ideas of concepts of things that I think we need to communicate.
00:01:28:24 - 00:01:54:06
Wayne Mulder
And one of the first ones that I want to talk about is we. You, you are way too comfortable. I know, I know, you're thinking I've been working in this career. I've been working all these hours. I'm doing I'm trying to do things with my family. A comfortable. I'm anything but comfortable. I'm working here. They're everywhere. I know, I understand that, but you and me are way too comfortable.
00:01:54:09 - 00:02:10:21
Wayne Mulder
What do I mean by that? Well, here. Here's the thing. Right. So we're in an election year, and I'm going to actually do a whole separate video on why politics and law enforcement must be hand in hand. I'm gonna do an entire video on it. So I'm not going to go deep into that right here, right now. But I will say this.
00:02:10:24 - 00:02:32:09
Wayne Mulder
It is imperative that you if you are in law enforcement around law enforcement, retired from law enforcement, if you're an American citizen, I don't care what your role is, what you do. It is imperative that we start to develop foundational beliefs on what we believe and why we believe it. And then that's not enough. I know what you're thinking.
00:02:32:09 - 00:02:58:00
Wayne Mulder
What? What are you saying, Wayne? That's not enough. That's all I can do here. I I'm I'm working. I got all these things going on. I've got, I've got football to watch. I've got, you know. Oh, right. That's the problem. Right. Well, you know, but Netflix I you can't be possibly talking about Netflix, right? I, I know what I believe, and, you know, as long as I believe in and they can go do them and I'll do me and you do you.
00:02:58:00 - 00:03:18:28
Wayne Mulder
And that is complete nonsense. The whole you do you thing is complete effing nonsense. Let me say that one more time. Just just in case you missed this, the whole you do you thing is complete effing nonsense. Yeah, yeah, I don't know why I'll say there, because here's the thing. Right? Let me drive. Let me drive this home for you.
00:03:18:28 - 00:03:41:27
Wayne Mulder
Right. So you and I are way too comfortable. And the reason I know we're way too comfortable is because we're a typical American. And typical Americans are way too comfortable. And it's because of that comfortability that ideas, thoughts, process sees people in elected office and so forth that are coming to us with ideas that are totally anti-American. This isn't left versus right.
00:03:41:27 - 00:04:12:01
Wayne Mulder
This isn't Democrat versus Republican. They're both a bunch of idiots. This is foundational principles versus non foundational principles. This is worldview. Worldviews collide right. This is a cage match. Worldview cage match two. Enter. Only one gets to leave. That's where we're at right now. And the reason we're there is because we're too damn comfortable. You and I refuse to stand up when called upon to do things because you're like, well, I can't go talk at a school board meeting.
00:04:12:01 - 00:04:32:17
Wayne Mulder
Well, first of all, matter of fact, my job and I can't even really say something online because if I do, well, then I might end up in AA and well. So I'm not a suggesting you to go out and be a jerk. And I'm certainly not suggesting that you go out and put inflammatory things or things that are just intentionally, honestly, a lot of times a grift.
00:04:32:17 - 00:04:53:17
Wayne Mulder
Right? That's not what I'm talking about here. What I'm talking about here is that you and I need to know why we believe what we believe so ingrained, so strong, so part of who we are, that when we are faced with things that are obviously not part of what we believe, then we come out and say, hey, we're not going to do that.
00:04:53:18 - 00:05:16:08
Wayne Mulder
We're not going to go over the cliff with the rest of society. Right. And that's what I want to encourage you on. See, there's nothing wrong with these American things that we have. We are so blessed. We are still so blessed, even in the world we live in. Today. We have football season starting up here, right? And that's something we can enjoy and we can take time, watch a little college football, have our favorite team.
00:05:16:08 - 00:05:32:08
Wayne Mulder
Nothing wrong with that. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. But if you're doing that as an escape, if you're doing that instead of playing with your kids, if you're doing that instead of spending time with your wife, if you're doing that instead of doing something that's on your heart, like maybe you have a desire to do something, start a business.
00:05:32:08 - 00:05:55:07
Wayne Mulder
Maybe you have a desire to go out there and be in ministry. Whatever that desire is that you need to you. If you refuse to go out and you're like, no, man, there's a yeah, there's something cool on Netflix. Like, that's what I gotta watch something on Netflix, man. Then your family, you're too damn comfortable. You and I are too comfortable.
00:05:55:14 - 00:06:15:29
Wayne Mulder
If this is what has held me back time and time and time again, over and over again, I find myself in this moment, in this I just posted today. I just put it out on Instagram. That freedom is found in the fear. Why did I say that? Why? Why do I put that out to you? That freedom is found in the fear.
00:06:16:01 - 00:06:37:01
Wayne Mulder
It's because I'm scared. There are things that scare me, right? And honestly, it's not the crazy things like give me a bad guy with a gun that doesn't scare me, okay? Give me up. Fires. Hey, I'm on fire and handle this. But no. But in all seriousness, someone screaming for help in the house has got a fire and I can get in there and get that.
00:06:37:01 - 00:06:55:01
Wayne Mulder
That doesn't honestly scare me it yet. You got a bad guy. You got an unknown car, right? And the windows are all tinted and you're coming up there and you're like, you know, this could go really bad, I don't know. And obviously we have our training and we have our way that we're going to do this. But at the end of the day, it's really not scary.
00:06:55:03 - 00:07:22:28
Wayne Mulder
However, I'm trying to build this podcast and going out and talking to area businesses that see if they want to advertise, see if this is something that will resonate with them, that will help them. Scary scares the hell out of me because it's outside my comfort zone. It's outside of what is natural for me. But the freedom, this thing becoming a business, this thing helping more, this thing reaching the goal of helping 800,000 people every week.
00:07:23:01 - 00:07:41:28
Wayne Mulder
Where does that number come from? Number of U.S. law enforcement officers. Helping 800,000 people every week is the minimum of what I'm hoping to do here and see that that is what I'm afraid of. There was a point that public speaking is what I was afraid of. What? What did I do right? What what what was the antidote?
00:07:41:28 - 00:07:58:17
Wayne Mulder
What what did I do when I found when I was like, man, I, I can't do that. I don't want to. I got stand up in front of people. I gotta do what now? I don't want to do that. You can't. You can't make me do it. So what did I do? Well, I started taking classes that forced me to stand out in front of people.
00:07:58:19 - 00:08:13:02
Wayne Mulder
I started with the FTO class and at the time, and the FTO class field training officer for those not in law enforcement in the at the time, in the law, in the FTO class, you had to get up and give a little presentation. Yeah. To do a little training, something that you would do with a trainee in the car.
00:08:13:05 - 00:08:41:06
Wayne Mulder
So I did that and I'm like, well, I didn't die, I didn't die, I stood up here, I didn't die. Good. So then what I do next? Well, line supervision entry level leadership class has a lot of standing up here and speaking. Well, then what? What did I do next? Well, let's see here. If I go take the teaching class, the one that allows me to teach classes for the state in the law enforcement academy, and I go take instructor techniques.
00:08:41:13 - 00:09:00:11
Wayne Mulder
What is instructor techniques? What's really a public speaking class? It's really a class of standing up in front of people and saying, hey, hey, hey, listen to me for a minute. And you know what? The first time you stand up there, you know? Hey, hey, hey, listen to me, okay? We're done here. Let's look. Two minutes, two minutes.
00:09:00:13 - 00:09:17:24
Wayne Mulder
I think the first sign that was like, 60s. Maybe it was five minutes. It was very short period of time, and you had to get up there and you had to speak on a topic for five minutes. Now I can't shut up after an hour, which I know most of you are, like with this guy. Stop already.
00:09:17:26 - 00:09:37:14
Wayne Mulder
Yeah, I know, I know, but at the time it was like, I didn't know what to say. Right when I first started this podcast. Again, all of this is pushing into that fear, pushing into the unknown, pushing into something I'm scared to death. When I first started the podcast, word for word, I would type it all out.
00:09:37:17 - 00:09:56:24
Wayne Mulder
Sometimes I still do that if I'm telling a story or something, because, even, even now, there is a time that, you know, you want to have it driven a specific way, and I want it to be very intentional in the way it's written. But in the beginning, the entire episode was scripted out, and I would sit and this would be for ChatGPT.
00:09:56:29 - 00:10:19:00
Wayne Mulder
So it was all 100% scripted out by me type, type, type, type, type, type, type, and I would get this whole thing written out. And then I would sit down and I would read it verbatim. And that was those very first episodes. Now I literally put one line on the screen, talk about you are way too comfortable and all the rest of this gibberish like it, take it.
00:10:19:00 - 00:10:41:07
Wayne Mulder
Hopefully it's doing something good for you, but all the rest of this is 100% just what's on my heart, what I feel, what I need to speak about. So that's what I want you to take away from here is freedom is found in pressing into the fear. So the reason I posted that online is I spent the day out knocking on some business doors, building some relationships, talking to some people scares the hell out of me.
00:10:41:07 - 00:10:57:21
Wayne Mulder
I don't, I don't like that end of it. I like to be able to help others and feel like I'm, you know, offering them something rather than saying, hey, would you be interested in supporting what we're building here? But I had to flip that on its head, and I had to be like, you know what? This is what?
00:10:57:21 - 00:11:19:11
Wayne Mulder
This is what gives me angst. So this is what I'm going to push into. Well, the same is true when we talk about this idea of comfortability, when we talk about this idea of stepping outside our comfort zone and just refusing to be too comfortable. So I'm not here to rag on football season. I'm not here to rag on, Netflix.
00:11:19:18 - 00:11:43:22
Wayne Mulder
I'm not here to rag on Camping at Disney, I don't know, comes spending the weekend on your boat. You know what cops do all the above every weekend, especially the higher up they go. Their sergeants, their lieutenants, their captains, you know, they got decent, decent pay, decent schedules, and they're like, yeah, every weekend. Saturday is boat day. Sunday the family, you know, we maybe we take motorcycles and we do whatever.
00:11:43:23 - 00:12:08:03
Wayne Mulder
You know what cops do? There is nothing wrong with any of that. Let me make that very clear. There is nothing wrong with any of that. Here's the problem. Here's what is wrong here. Here's where we start losing it. Here is where we start to take that hard diversion. It's when that becomes the focus or it becomes the way for us to stay outside of what we know we need to do.
00:12:08:05 - 00:12:26:07
Wayne Mulder
So we have this career and this is the problem with law enforcement. It's not a problem in that it's wrong, but it it's just it's a problem that we all deal with in one way or another. If you are in the law enforcement career, and that is that this career eats up so much of your time. Let's say you're in a schedule similar to one that I'm used to.
00:12:26:13 - 00:12:45:03
Wayne Mulder
So it's the 12 hour shifts and then they rotate. So one week you work Wednesday, Thursday and the next week if you're in the patrol environment, I'm talking then you work every day except Wednesday, Thursday. So it's Monday, Tuesday off, Wednesday, Thursday on the weekend and then it rotates again. I know it's crazy and a lot of people hear that and I'm like, oh my goodness.
00:12:45:11 - 00:13:13:08
Wayne Mulder
You usually work seven out of 14 days. That means you're a half the time. But the reality is, especially if you're working nights or even days, because days are starting at 5 a.m., 6 a.m., so 5 to 5 and then you and I both know at 5 p.m. and 6 p.m. is when all hell is breaking loose. So rarely are you actually leaving at 5 p.m. or 6 p.m. if you're in days and on and on that rotates well, you have all that ancillary time then you got to get to, especially if you're on nights.
00:13:13:08 - 00:13:27:10
Wayne Mulder
Well, now you need to go to the garage because you gotta get your car worked on. Oh, we have this training. Oh, and there's this thing. Oh, and you know, there is this email. And of course, you don't have to answer your emails off duty, but if you don't answer emails off duty, well, then we may call you because we needed that it.
00:13:27:13 - 00:13:59:27
Wayne Mulder
You guys know this. You you've lived this. Or if you're in another career, maybe you don't work in law enforcement at all and you have this same thing, right? So then you get home and you're like, oh my gosh, I'm exhausted. I said for years. And it's very true for me that working that schedule the first day off is recovery from working the last two days, because just the mental up and downs, the radio going, which is again, it's not my strong suit and that radio does not end and all the madness and you're like, oh my goodness, the first day is all decompression.
00:13:59:29 - 00:14:29:12
Wayne Mulder
And then the second day is all, oh my gosh, I gotta go back into work tomorrow. I gotta do this again. I gotta make sure my boots are shined. I gotta make sure you know everything. The gun is clean, I gotta, I gotta do all this so that tomorrow I can go back in. And you do that on your two days off, and then you do that again on your next two days off, and then you do that on the weekend, and then you're like, man, I really only have one day that I am mentally clear and ready to go.
00:14:29:14 - 00:14:52:16
Wayne Mulder
And that's one day out of my three day weekend every two weeks. So that really means that you're only decompressed and feeling ready to do things one out of 14 days. A little different than that seven out of 14 day that it sounds like, in theory. I only say that to say that this is this is where we often lose it, right?
00:14:52:18 - 00:15:16:09
Wayne Mulder
We often lose it in we just get so exhausted. So let me just talk about myself doing this podcast, doing whatever this is, content creation. Hopefully this is something you're enjoying. In fact, if you are enjoying it, if you would, please be sure to like this and subscribe below. But either way, I did this because I felt like it was a mission.
00:15:16:09 - 00:15:40:07
Wayne Mulder
I felt it was something I needed to do, something I needed to get out to you. Well, in doing so, it it starts taking up so much time. I can't even tell you how many hours, week to week to week. It's an average of 15 hours minimum every two days that I lose to this project. And that's all in, you know, because currently I'm also doing all the editing and so forth.
00:15:40:09 - 00:15:59:17
Wayne Mulder
But that's going to change. And, we're believing that. But that that's the thing, right? So you take on whatever it is you feel you need to do. Well, I really need to engage with my family more. Okay? I really need to engage with my son. You know, he I don't spend enough time with him. He's he's so bogged down in video games or whatever.
00:15:59:17 - 00:16:14:29
Wayne Mulder
And you feel like, okay, this is the thing I need to do. I really need to engage with this person or engage my wife and I, you know, maybe that's your situation and you're like, man, I we haven't had a date night in like, well, since we were dating. You know, if that's your situation, well then you're like, okay, I need to engage.
00:16:15:02 - 00:16:35:20
Wayne Mulder
But then you said, you know, he had this moment of inspiration. May you listen to me. Maybe listen somebody else. I'm like, man, I am going to do this. And then reality strikes and you're like, oh, but I'm so tired. Well, maybe, maybe we're not going to this, this Wednesday night and then the week goes back. Well, you know, Monday night isn't good.
00:16:35:20 - 00:17:03:14
Wayne Mulder
And the kids and so forth. Well, maybe next Friday and and whatever it is, whatever that thing is that you feel you're supposed to be engaging with, it just keeps getting pushed off further and further and further. However, so often the things that we use to escape the things we like, the things like football, the things like Netflix, the thing, all those things I mentioned, instead of being positive things, they become a manner of escapism, a way of just not engaging with what we need to engage with.
00:17:03:16 - 00:17:32:22
Wayne Mulder
So what do I suggest? Well, first of all, first recognize recognize that all these things are good things. But at the end of the day, what we have to do is prioritize what is our long term goal. I think for me personally, that the biggest thing that helped me was starting to lay out an actual goal, like family goals, work goals, food goals, exercise goals, and then I had to break those goals down.
00:17:32:22 - 00:17:49:28
Wayne Mulder
What can I realistically get done and honestly, I'm still shaving on this, right? So for some reason I can't. For instance, getting to the gym, right? So I get up at a certain time in the morning and I'm like, all right, I'll be in the gym in 30 minutes. Well, that has never happened. It never, never. I tried time and time again.
00:17:49:28 - 00:18:08:24
Wayne Mulder
I'll be there in 30 minutes. Never. So I just started clocking. Okay. What is the realistic amount of time that it takes me to get up, get my coffee, knock out a couple priorities and then get to the gym? Well, it's really an hour. Okay, so then that's what it is on the schedule. Now at this time, one hour after I get up, I'm going to gym.
00:18:08:27 - 00:18:26:06
Wayne Mulder
And then what? Why is that prioritized? Why is that so important? Well, because I decided that that is going to be one of my non negotiable. And here's the thing. If you want to start moving outside your comfort zone, if you want to start moving forward in some area of your life. Again, I'm not just talking about businesses.
00:18:26:06 - 00:19:02:22
Wayne Mulder
I often relate things back to businesses because that's something I love and something I'm trying to do. But for you, it could be relationships. It could be your career in general. Right? Maybe you just started in law enforcement. Maybe you're a brand new cop. Maybe you're thinking of going into law enforcement. Well, then I hope you really hear me, because now is the time to start prioritizing and say, okay, these are the things I'm going to put in place to safeguard my time and make sure that I'm 100% at work, clear mind engaged when I need to be there, and I'm 100% engaged with family when I need to be there, and I'm 100% engaged
00:19:02:29 - 00:19:21:01
Wayne Mulder
in whatever that may be that you want to do when you're there. What does that mean? It means that it all really comes down to planning. So that's what I want to start with this week, is I want to encourage you to just this is very cursory, right. I'm going to go deeper into this. We're going to talk more about this in the future.
00:19:21:03 - 00:19:37:27
Wayne Mulder
Goal setting is very important to me because I have found that I hit 100% of the goals. I don't set one half percent of them. I've hit, and I hit far less of the goals I do set, but I get a whole lot closer than I would have been when I did so right. So here's the thing.
00:19:37:27 - 00:20:02:07
Wayne Mulder
You have to. If you have, you have things you want to do from relationships on and you don't want to get stuck in this. I'm way too comfortable and you want to start making a real difference, and you want to stand up for things, and you want to engage with those that you love in your life, then this is what I encourage you to do is to start with laying out what are my actual goals, what are those things I want to accomplish?
00:20:02:14 - 00:20:17:17
Wayne Mulder
And then we're going to break that down a little further and get it into non-negotiables. And that's where I'm at. And I'll share those with you, a little bit more. So if you're enjoying this content, if this is something you enjoy ontheblueline.com, I want to hear your feedback. That's wayne@ontheblueline.com.
00:20:17:17 - 00:20:40:29
Wayne Mulder
Wayne@ontheblueline.com I actually answer those emails. So by all means please email me if this is something you want to talk a little more about. By all means send that to me as well. And, I hope you're enjoying this. This is a little different format, so I'd love to see your comments about whether or not this is the type of content you want to, have more of, and I hope this gives you a little something to think of for this week.
00:20:41:01 - 00:20:59:20
Wayne Mulder
So that's all I have for you, however you're watching or listening to this. Thank you so much, and thank you for continuing to engage with this. The other thing I want to make sure I tell you about before I go away is our Patreon page that's up and running now. So it's Patreon.com/on the blue line, and on there you get content you can't get anywhere else.
00:20:59:20 - 00:21:14:29
Wayne Mulder
So if you enjoy this kind of content, know that there is members only content on there. And so I hope you're going to join, and I hope that we can, pick this up inside there. So thank you again so much for listening, for watching, for sharing. You guys are the best. I'll see you next week.