PODCAST: Living Fearlessly with Shā Sparks | THE INTERVIEW ROOM | Episode 042
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Living Fearlessly with Shā Sparks | THE INTERVIEW ROOM | Episode 042
Shā Sparks
C.E.O. [Chief Excitement Officer]
Sparks of Fire International
Meet this Weeks Guest: Sha Sparks
Ever feel like an imposter? Or maybe even like you are no longer fired up about life, like you're living on a hamster wheel?
Shā Sparks is an energetic catalyst and fearless communicator who sparks leaders in transition, who are unclear, go from fear to fired up about their life and business.
Through her renowned Spark Your Alpha program, Shā’s audiences and clients experience more confidence, amplified emotional intelligence, and the spark that ignites their fearless action.
As the CEO (Chief Excitement Officer) of Sparks of Fire International, she hosts The Power of Investing in People Podcast, is the author of How to Get Your Voice Back, is a Certified Fearless Living Coach and Trainer, and the Co-Founder of the #FIRESTARTERS Book Project.
“Auntie Shā-Shā” to all of her friends’ kids, she is also an expert dog sitter and a rookie kayaker. Most importantly, Shā wants to inspire others to move confidently through change so they can step into their FIRE power!
Show Notes from This Episode
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Topics we discuss:
Practicing being Vulnerable
Growth Mindset
The importance of Boundaries
Power of Connection
Fearless Living
Being a Spark of Hope
CONNECT with Sha:
WEBSITE: https://www.shasparks.com
INSTAGRAM: @iamshasparks
FACEBOOK: @Shā Sparks
TWITTER: @shā Sparks
YOUTUBE: Sha Sparks
LINKEDIN: @Shā Sparks
BOOKS by Shā
LINKS discussed:
AFTER the episode:
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TRANSCRIPTION OF EPISODE. Please note this is a new service we are offering and there will be spelling, grammar and accuracy issues. This transcription is offered as a convenience to our listeners, but at this time it is not guaranteed to be accurate.
00:00:02:14 - 00:00:32:15
Wayne Mulder
So welcome everybody to the On the Blue Line podcast. This is the interview room. This is where I sit down and talk to guests from all different walks of life and I bring their story to you. I bring what they're doing to you primarily because there's something we can learn from everyone, right? They don't have to be in law enforcement.
00:00:32:15 - 00:00:50:42
Wayne Mulder
They don't have to have prior military experience. It I find that I learn something from people in all different types of life and different walks of life. And I'm able to take that and then relay it back to what I'm doing, law enforcement, which I think is just amazing. So I hope you're enjoying this. It is Thursday. I hope you are having a good week.
00:00:50:42 - 00:01:07:33
Wayne Mulder
If you're listening to this. On the morning it came out, it's on a Thursday morning. If you are not, then I have no idea what day it is for you. But I hope you are having a good day or a good week, whichever the case may be for you on whatever day you're listening to this. Thank you to those who have been supporting the podcast.
00:01:07:33 - 00:01:26:29
Wayne Mulder
For those of you who are leaving us the reading and reviews, that is a big help. Doesn't matter which platform that you are listening on, but if you could leave us those ratings and reviews, subscribe, all that good stuff. I greatly appreciate it and I will be reading some of those ratings and reviews and future episodes of the morning roll calls that come out on Monday.
00:01:27:18 - 00:01:57:46
Wayne Mulder
For those who are watching on video, remember all the podcast, they are all on video. So you can go to our YouTube channel. It's probably easiest to just go to the website on the blue line dot com, go to the watch tab and you can see the direct links to all of the videos that are on YouTube. And then those who are watching a video can see that I'm wearing the Resiliency Matters t shirt and thank you who those of you who've been supporting the show and buying the Resiliency Matters T-shirts and some of the other shirts and hats, I greatly appreciate it and it helps us to get the word out.
00:01:57:46 - 00:02:27:28
Wayne Mulder
So that's all I have for you on that stuff this week. Let me tell you a little bit about this week's guest. Her name is Sha Sparks. She is an energetic catalyst and fearless communicator who sparks leaders in transition who are unclear and go from fear to fired up about their life and business through her renowned spark, Your Alpha program, she's audiences and clients experience more confidence, amplified emotional intelligence and the spark that ignites their fearless action.
00:02:27:45 - 00:02:49:39
Wayne Mulder
As the CEO Chief Excitement Officer of Sparks of Fire International, she hosts The Power of Investing in People podcast is the author of How to Get Your Voice Back is a certified fearless living coach and trainer and the co-founder of the hashtag Fire Starters Book Project, which, if you're watching a video you will see is right up here on my bookshelf.
00:02:49:39 - 00:03:15:19
Wayne Mulder
Auntie Sha, to all her friends kids, she's also an expert dog setter and a rookie kayaker. But most importantly, she wants to inspire others to move confidently through change so they can step into their firepower more over. And more importantly than what's in this wonderful bio is that she's a good friend and I have wanted to get her on the podcast to just talk a little bit about what she does when it comes to this fearless living coaching.
00:03:15:37 - 00:03:34:39
Wayne Mulder
I feel horrible. We actually just recorded the podcast. I didn't even mention her podcast in that podcast, which is, I don't know what that means, but make sure you go to the show notes and follow hers and check out the power of Investing in People podcast. But what we do talk about is the great things that she is doing with coaching and the books that she's written.
00:03:34:57 - 00:03:50:43
Wayne Mulder
And you're going to get something out of here. I get that. You know, we as law enforcement, especially us guys, we like to you know, there's a little bit of this alpha thing and, you know, we like to hear the crazy stories or the some of the humorous stuff that we've had. And this is a more serious conversation.
00:03:50:43 - 00:04:10:31
Wayne Mulder
However, it's a very beneficial conversation. And I can tell you there's few people that have a bigger heart for helping others than she does. So without taking any more time. Here's this week's guest and my friend Sha Sparks. Sha, welcome to the program.
00:04:11:56 - 00:04:14:47
Sha Sparks
Thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here.
00:04:14:47 - 00:04:24:53
Wayne Mulder
You know, I am excited that you are here. It isn't every week on this show that I could sit down with a good friend and we get to have a conversation. So that makes this one particularly special.
00:04:25:58 - 00:04:38:00
Sha Sparks
I agree. And, you know, it's it's so funny to think about how long we've known each other and watching our each other's journey on our shows. So I'm just excited that you've you've brought another season back.
00:04:38:36 - 00:04:52:28
Wayne Mulder
Well, thank you. I am glad. And I'm sure the listeners are as well that is coming back and or is back. So. All right, let me start with my get to know your questions. Even though I know you, I still have to ask this. So share coffee or tea.
00:04:54:09 - 00:04:57:37
Sha Sparks
Depends on the day. Mostly tea and then sometimes coffee.
00:04:57:57 - 00:05:02:40
Wayne Mulder
Okay. Any particular type of coffee? Like do you have to add milk and sugar.
00:05:02:40 - 00:05:24:01
Sha Sparks
Or I'm I drink coffee. Black person. My dad always said they'll put hair on your chest. Not that women need that, but for some reason that was a thing. But I also I on occasion like one of those fufu venti tall or whatever it's called chai latte with almond milk.
00:05:24:01 - 00:05:24:36
Wayne Mulder
There you go.
00:05:24:46 - 00:05:33:37
Sha Sparks
Extra hot, one shot of espresso, you know, all the things. But that that's it. Like every once in a while. I don't have it on a daily basis.
00:05:33:37 - 00:05:40:48
Wayne Mulder
Well, it's definitely a dad quote. It's going to put her in your chest. I mean, that we've all grown up with that one for sure. Yeah.
00:05:42:10 - 00:05:46:12
Sha Sparks
Yeah. Like as a little girl, I'm sure that probably was something I needed to do, but. Yeah.
00:05:46:39 - 00:05:48:52
Wayne Mulder
But every dad said it, even probably to his daughters.
00:05:49:17 - 00:05:50:02
Sha Sparks
Exactly.
00:05:50:58 - 00:05:59:42
Wayne Mulder
So whether it's coffee or tea, where's your favorite place to have that drink? Hmm?
00:06:01:39 - 00:06:04:01
Sha Sparks
Sitting at the ocean, watching the sunrise.
00:06:04:52 - 00:06:06:30
Wayne Mulder
I figured you might say that.
00:06:06:30 - 00:06:08:37
Sha Sparks
Yeah. He's here.
00:06:08:40 - 00:06:10:39
Wayne Mulder
Now that you're in the state of Florida, it.
00:06:10:39 - 00:06:16:57
Sha Sparks
Is easier now, and it's. I don't do it enough. I'll just put it that way. I don't do it enough. But yes, that is my favorites.
00:06:18:01 - 00:06:24:27
Wayne Mulder
You, you and me both. Do you have a best or worst travel story?
00:06:26:15 - 00:06:55:10
Sha Sparks
Gosh, that's a hard question because I get asked, what's been your favorite city that you travel to? And I think all of them my best travel story. Yeah. So I did a quick weekend up to New York City for Christmas in 2019 and I took the earliest flight I could handle because my friend was already there. And so we were staying in Times Square.
00:06:55:10 - 00:07:22:57
Sha Sparks
So I literally got off the plane and I think it was like 9:00 in the morning and we literally hit the ground running it. Well, thank goodness the weather was cooperative and we went from Times Square all the way down to the World Trade Center to the Statue of Liberty, to the ferry over, and then came back. And then we went all the way back up to Central Park and all of that.
00:07:22:57 - 00:07:44:31
Sha Sparks
And then on Christmas. So that was Chris Christmas Eve on Christmas morning or Christmas evening, we saw the Rockettes at Radio City Music Hall. So that was fantastic. And we all none of it was planned. It was like, okay, let's just go and do and see what we can do. And then we also what else did we do?
00:07:44:33 - 00:07:56:13
Sha Sparks
Oh, so Christmas Eve night we did the Harlem Globetrotters at Madison Square Garden. I'm like all my little kid. Dreams were like, Yeah, I get to do these things in New York City. Yeah. So it was awesome.
00:07:56:33 - 00:08:04:17
Wayne Mulder
That's awesome. Yeah. I don't know how that one fits into the Christmas spirit, but I was with you up until the Harlem Globetrotters. Still fun to watch.
00:08:04:19 - 00:08:22:40
Sha Sparks
Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. And we did Rockefeller Center or Rockefeller Center and did all of that. It was just awesome. Amazing, amazing trip. Very fast. And then the next morning, I caught a train and went to D.C. So it was it was a whirlwind of a trip, very packed, full. And it was it was awesome. That's my my favorite trip.
00:08:22:58 - 00:08:35:22
Wayne Mulder
Sounds awesome. Yeah. Do you have a favorite nonfiction book other than the Bible or maybe a a more well-known book like that? But do you have a favorite nonfiction book?
00:08:35:22 - 00:08:52:28
Sha Sparks
Oh, let's see. Yes, I have two, actually. They changed my life. Women who loved too much. And it should really be called people who love too hard. And the other one is boundaries.
00:08:52:28 - 00:08:55:33
Wayne Mulder
Very good. Yeah, very good. I will look up both of those.
00:08:55:58 - 00:08:59:06
Sha Sparks
Yeah, they both changed my life, so I highly recommend them to everybody.
00:08:59:34 - 00:09:01:40
Wayne Mulder
One, that's what's important is life changing books.
00:09:01:40 - 00:09:02:47
Sha Sparks
Yes, exactly.
00:09:03:17 - 00:09:18:18
Wayne Mulder
So this last question I have to ask you, because I found on one of your bios, it said anti to all her friends kids. She is also a expert dog sitter in a rookie kayaker. Yes. Tell me about one of your kayak experiences.
00:09:19:46 - 00:09:36:27
Sha Sparks
There hasn't been that many actually. So I bought a foldable kayak that it folds into three it folds from three pieces into one. And I haven't even taken it out. I've been practicing in the pool backyard just to be safe.
00:09:37:53 - 00:09:39:59
Wayne Mulder
And you haven't taken it out in Florida yet?
00:09:40:13 - 00:09:57:55
Sha Sparks
No, because, one, I just haven't found a buddy to go with me into. I don't want to go by myself. And, you know, did something happen and I drowned or, you know, whatever. Although my brother informs me that most all the rivers here that I could take it to are about three feet deep. I wouldn't drown, so I would be fine.
00:09:57:55 - 00:10:19:35
Wayne Mulder
And for the most part, that is accurate. And knowing whereabouts you live and nobody else does. So we'll keep that a secret. But knowing the whereabouts of where you are, there's actually some really cool trips you can take via kayak at night and see the little glowing sea creatures. I've actually done that, and it's a blast.
00:10:20:00 - 00:10:23:13
Sha Sparks
Yeah, I need. I want to do that. I just haven't taken the time to do it yet.
00:10:23:25 - 00:10:27:01
Wayne Mulder
Yeah, well, we'll put that on the list. I guess we all have things we need to get done.
00:10:27:01 - 00:10:28:10
Sha Sparks
Yes, for sure.
00:10:28:53 - 00:10:37:33
Wayne Mulder
So tell us a little bit about your story. Maybe just kind of introduce, you know, because you grew up in the Midwest. Yes. And you're now in the beautiful state of Florida.
00:10:38:04 - 00:10:38:33
Sha Sparks
Yes.
00:10:38:33 - 00:10:41:31
Wayne Mulder
So maybe just give us a little bit of your journey.
00:10:42:00 - 00:11:09:54
Sha Sparks
Oh, gosh. A little bit. The 32nd journey. Let's see. So I grew up on a farm in the middle of Iowa. I moved to Kansas City, the big, big city, quote unquote, when I was 19. And then I went to cosmetology school and built a career for 29 years and had most of my clients that I had built up for 24 years.
00:11:09:54 - 00:11:31:17
Sha Sparks
I was in the top of my game and every salon that I worked at, I mean, before that I had worked for someplace for like six months and they were already asking me to be manager or whatever, somehow be a lead in, in that role. And then I went on my own. And the funny thing was that I went on my own.
00:11:31:17 - 00:11:38:33
Sha Sparks
And then the owner of the last long that I was at, they asked me to come back and be a partner and I was able to turn them down.
00:11:40:39 - 00:12:04:08
Sha Sparks
But you know, it was after much discussion about it, like what they were actually looking for and what they were really looking for was my clientele. And they weren't really they weren't really wanting me and my my leadership ability. They were just wanting the clientele that I'd taken. And so now I have I then was in a during that time frame at some point I was in an abusive relationship.
00:12:04:08 - 00:12:24:59
Sha Sparks
And when I got out of that, I started to peel away the layers of the the onion that I am, that we all are and started to heal. And as I started to heal, I started to share the lessons that I was learning about myself with my clients, my hair clients, in hopes that maybe something would, you know, inspire them.
00:12:24:59 - 00:12:47:47
Sha Sparks
And it did. And they would go come back, you know, go away for 4 to 6 weeks, come back and say, oh, my gosh, what you told me about being I'll give you an example. So one of the things they would say is so I would always ask, So what's new? Tell me what's going on. You know, with what's been happening since we last saw each other and they would say, Oh, they're staying at work, blah, blah, blah.
00:12:47:47 - 00:13:13:48
Sha Sparks
And they're like, Well, what about you? And I'm like, Oh, well, I learned that I was emotionally unavailable. I mean, how exciting is that? Right. And they're like, first of all, that's weird. And then second of all, what does that actually mean? And I'm like, well, what it means is, is that I'm afraid to actually be open and honest and share what I'm really feeling and thinking and say what I mean and mean when I say.
00:13:14:40 - 00:13:47:15
Sha Sparks
And they were like, What? And I'm like, Yeah. So when you're having anxiety or you're anxious or you're nervous or someone you know about a situation, do you share that with the other person? And they're like, No, never. Why would I? And I'm like, Right. That's being emotionally unavailable. We're not taught how to do this. So once I started to become vulnerable, which is a word that I couldn't even pronounce at the time, I started to shift not only myself, but I started to shift.
00:13:47:27 - 00:14:11:00
Sha Sparks
My clients started to shift because then they went and practiced it to practice being vulnerable. And then I was really put it into practice and I started to change the conversations I had with my father. And up until then we had just a surface relationship. And there were even years, many years in my teens and in my twenties, years where we didn't even speak.
00:14:11:42 - 00:14:33:59
Sha Sparks
And so now at this point, I just started to share certain things and ask him certain questions. And for an example, he would ask me to do something and I would say, Are you truly asking me to do something or are you trying to manipulate me into doing it? And he was like, What? Manette. Manette? Like he couldn't pronounce the word manipulation.
00:14:33:59 - 00:14:51:39
Sha Sparks
Like I couldn't pronounce vulnerable. And I said, Dad, it sounds like you want me to do this. But then there's this little like twinge of, you're going to be really mad at me if I don't do it. So actually it feels like you're trying to guilt me into doing it rather than just asking me to do it.
00:14:52:06 - 00:14:52:22
Wayne Mulder
Yeah.
00:14:52:49 - 00:15:14:36
Sha Sparks
And he was like, Huh. I never thought about it like that before. And I wasn't blaming him or shaming him or, you know, being or pointing fingers at him going, How dare you do this? I was just asking. And once I started to shift the way that I spoke to him, he started to change and he became the my best friend in the last five years of his life.
00:15:15:18 - 00:15:45:57
Wayne Mulder
Wow. You know, that's so powerful. It's something you just mention there. And it's funny because those in last week's episode from when they you, the listeners are going to be hearing this one, that word that came up with the guest we just had, which is vulnerability. And that's an interesting word, especially when you're talking to law enforcement officers, because you've got a career where you have a lot of alpha type personalities, males and females, but they're very alpha, very they're here to help everybody else solve their problems.
00:15:45:57 - 00:16:13:51
Wayne Mulder
In fact, that's literally the job. It's serving others. And yet in that they don't tend to ever want to focus on the problems they have or even verbalize those issues that they have. Hmm. Is that something you see? I mean, obviously you see it in the broader public, but what what is the first step towards that? When we talk about vulnerability, is it just as simple as opening up and just talking?
00:16:14:07 - 00:16:20:54
Wayne Mulder
Or is there a little bit more to it? Is there more like a self recognized recognition that's yes.
00:16:21:00 - 00:16:45:12
Sha Sparks
The answer is yes to both. QUESTION Okay. So I work with a lot of veterans and and some first responders, but mostly then the veteran world. And so, yeah, they're that same type of personality, right? Alpha They they, you know, have this tough exterior. And everybody, you know, everybody in the world technically has that. It's at what degree are you willing to be transparent?
00:16:45:41 - 00:17:12:07
Sha Sparks
So if we take the word vulnerable off the table and not have it such a taboo word and talk about being transparent and self aware, then it becomes a different conversation. And first of all, you hit the nail on the head when you said, recognize, we have to first recognize what it is that we're thinking. And most of the time we don't recognize what we're thinking because we're on autopilot.
00:17:12:45 - 00:17:35:43
Sha Sparks
And as humans, we're never taught any of these skills. But we as humans, we're always thinking our feeling that that is what we should trust because it's a thought or it's a feeling. So I need to trust that. And the truth is, is that neither one are true, which is a really profound concept to understand. You're like, Wait, what?
00:17:35:43 - 00:18:05:34
Sha Sparks
Just because I thought that that's not true, right? So sometimes when we share our thoughts and our feelings to someone, especially in a leadership role, we are afraid that that other person will perceive us as a weak or stupid or incompetent. And so then when we perceive that, then we kind of shy away, we pull back, we put up that exterior or remove, or we do what I call overthinking.
00:18:05:34 - 00:18:12:25
Sha Sparks
Some people call it, Oh, I'm analyzing. But then it's really that's cute. It's really overthinking or procrastinating.
00:18:13:19 - 00:18:15:03
Wayne Mulder
I like to analyze, you know that. But anyway.
00:18:15:09 - 00:18:49:44
Sha Sparks
Yes, yes, yeah, yeah. So perfect example like analyzing. So give yourself a timeframe. Like I'm going to analyze this data for, you know, 24 hours and then overthinking starts after that 24 hours, right? Overthinking is when you can't make a decision. So that's when it becomes from analyzing to overthinking. And that's how fear is showing up, because now you're actually fearful and making that decision, because now you can be because you're in that realm of thinking about being weak or incompetent.
00:18:50:02 - 00:19:20:42
Sha Sparks
Now it goes even deeper of, Well, I could be unlovable, I could be insignificant, I could be worthless, and I don't want that to happen. So I'm going to think some more. And really what it is, is it's just not willing to make a decision. So when you start holding your thoughts captive and really understanding what it is that you're thinking, then you can kind of see, okay, so how are these thoughts making you feel?
00:19:22:04 - 00:19:38:15
Sha Sparks
Now, here is the dynamic of how we how things happen in our lives. A circumstance happens. We have a thought about it. That thought leads to a feeling. The feeling drives our action. And then the that action gets us results.
00:19:38:56 - 00:19:39:12
Wayne Mulder
Okay.
00:19:39:33 - 00:20:19:22
Sha Sparks
Okay. So when we have results and they're not the desired outcome that we wanted a most of the time we go back to the thought, Oh, it's my fault, something I did wasn't right, right? So it's kind of like a, a fixed mindset to quote the Growth Mindset book, which is also a really great book mindset. And it's on fixed or growth and a fixed mindset talks about, well, it's my fault and growth mindset thinks about what do I need to learn?
00:20:20:52 - 00:20:30:52
Sha Sparks
So it's not I failed because I'm a bad person or I'm a failure. It's okay. I need to learn more. What do I need to study? What do I need to figure out?
00:20:31:33 - 00:20:32:07
Wayne Mulder
I like that.
00:20:32:33 - 00:20:56:25
Sha Sparks
So I always like to start with the first question that I started with when I started on my healing journey, and it just literally falls into place for so many things in all areas of life. And that question is what is it that I don't know that I need to know in order to move forward? Because we know what we know.
00:20:56:25 - 00:21:12:32
Sha Sparks
And then there's a whole lot of things out there that we don't know. And most of the time we don't even know that. We don't know them. And I know that sounds confusing, but listen to it. Repeat it if you have to, because it makes so much sense, because there's the things that we know and then there's the things that we don't know.
00:21:12:32 - 00:21:16:12
Sha Sparks
And there's a whole lot of things that we don't know that we don't know.
00:21:16:48 - 00:21:17:27
Wayne Mulder
Absolutely.
00:21:18:09 - 00:21:42:12
Sha Sparks
So when you go back to this thought, sorry, I'm going to keep going. When we go back to this plot, then that is where you begin changing your mindset. Then the feelings will start to change about what you're doing. Then that will drive that action, and then that action will start to get closer to the desired outcome of the results that you wanting.
00:21:42:48 - 00:21:56:20
Sha Sparks
It might not be exact, but it's starting to get a little bit closer and it gets a little bit more. A little bit more. I know you love this phrase out of your comfort zone and end to that. I don't.
00:21:56:33 - 00:22:00:27
Wayne Mulder
Like being out of my comfort zone just for the record, but going out.
00:22:01:12 - 00:22:10:04
Sha Sparks
A little bit more out of that comfort zone and into the more desired outcome results that you're wanting. But it all starts with that mindset.
00:22:10:04 - 00:22:29:29
Wayne Mulder
I love that it in some ways it reframes what I was thinking of as you were talking. So Andy Andrews has that quote where he says, Your best thinking is what got you here? And I am often reminded of that myself, especially when things seem to be crumbling apart and it's like, okay, my best thinking got me exactly here, which is not exactly where I want to be.
00:22:29:49 - 00:22:30:39
Sha Sparks
Right. Right.
00:22:30:39 - 00:22:37:03
Wayne Mulder
But I love what you're saying because it really at first I thought it maybe contrasted what he's saying, but it really does.
00:22:37:09 - 00:22:37:15
Sha Sparks
It.
00:22:37:44 - 00:22:45:19
Wayne Mulder
Actually does dovetail beautifully because it becomes an educational issue rather than a personal issue. Yes.
00:22:45:21 - 00:23:00:54
Sha Sparks
Yes. So what you're doing is you're separating it from exactly what you said. You're separating it from yourself as ownership and responsibility. I am responsible 100% for this. You are. And it has nothing to do with you.
00:23:01:37 - 00:23:01:55
Wayne Mulder
Yeah.
00:23:02:16 - 00:23:27:19
Sha Sparks
It's about what you don't know. It's about what you need to learn. Now, who do you need to contact? Maybe it's a conversation you need to have. Maybe it's a person that you need to ask for support with a mentor, a coach, or a counselor. There's so many different options and it's more of an open thought process rather than a closed process or fixed and just being focused on, Well, I didn't do it.
00:23:27:19 - 00:23:33:59
Sha Sparks
I screwed it up. I'm a failure. I'm this, you know, and all the the negative inner voice that we have one.
00:23:33:59 - 00:23:41:51
Wayne Mulder
That's what I was going to say. In fact, I'm getting a little bit ahead of my notes, but I was going to ask you about this whole thing when it comes to negative self-talk in your book.
00:23:42:05 - 00:23:43:22
Sha Sparks
Yes. You had to get.
00:23:43:22 - 00:23:44:09
Wayne Mulder
Your voice back.
00:23:44:34 - 00:23:44:54
Sha Sparks
Yes.
00:23:44:54 - 00:24:04:03
Wayne Mulder
Six Steps to build up your confidence when negativity takes you down, you make a statement in there that we wouldn't say these things to our best friends, so why do we say it to ourselves? And in that sentence you're talking about internalizing the things that we say to ourselves that we would never say to you, even say our best friends, but sometimes we wouldn't even say them to our enemy.
00:24:04:22 - 00:24:21:41
Wayne Mulder
It's just we tend to be harder on ourselves. And I think it kind of goes right in hand with what you're talking about here, that one of the things we've got to be careful of is this negative self-talk. And I know this is a show for cops, and they're probably thinking, oh, you know, you're getting a little fufu or whatever, but I know that I do this.
00:24:21:41 - 00:24:41:22
Wayne Mulder
So if I do this, then I know you, the listeners do it. And so since you're by yourself walking or in your car and no one else is around, we can have a vulnerable moment, if you would, and we can, you know, I know I struggle with this. So my question for you is, when it comes to this negative self-talk, is that kind of what we're talking about here is this is how we redirect?
00:24:41:54 - 00:24:52:28
Sha Sparks
Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. So here's the thing. Let's let's just say that everyone in the world has a bad day. Right? Because they do.
00:24:52:53 - 00:24:53:22
Wayne Mulder
We all do.
00:24:53:42 - 00:25:10:37
Sha Sparks
Right. And unfortunately, you, the police officers have a dialog, enforcement has a job that can lead to life or death or a major issue, a major challenge if something if you have a bad day, right?
00:25:10:55 - 00:25:11:31
Wayne Mulder
Absolutely.
00:25:12:21 - 00:25:42:25
Sha Sparks
So if you have a bad day and something bad goes really wrong, one of the things that people tend to do is continue to have a bad day internally. And that's that inner negative self-talk is, oh, my God, I can't believe I'm so stupid, so incompetent. I'm so ignorant. I'm so whatever. You tell yourself that you're not enough that I did this.
00:25:43:06 - 00:26:12:01
Sha Sparks
I made the wrong move. I'm so dumb. I, you know, whatever the unfortunate situation was as the outcome some times and most of the time, especially the stronger we are, the more we internalize and where we were literally bullying ourselves, beating ourselves up. So that's where that inner negative self-talk it comes from. So it's just being aware, first of all, and recognizing it.
00:26:12:16 - 00:26:26:18
Sha Sparks
What is it that you actually say to yourself? Because it's brutal, let me tell you, it is brutal. And not only would you not say it to your best friend, you wouldn't say that to yourself as a child.
00:26:27:57 - 00:26:28:40
Wayne Mulder
Interesting.
00:26:29:02 - 00:26:37:51
Sha Sparks
You wouldn't say that to a child. If you're if you're a normal human. Typical, typical being. Right. You wouldn't say that to a child.
00:26:38:13 - 00:26:38:29
Wayne Mulder
Yeah.
00:26:38:52 - 00:26:53:02
Sha Sparks
And yet inside, we're all children, just trying to get our needs met. And here we are literally bombarding ourselves with this Internet talk all day, every day, all day long.
00:26:53:02 - 00:27:05:20
Wayne Mulder
Well, that is very powerful. Let me kind of direct in a different direction real quick here, just so people kind of know where you're coming from, what you do. So you are a fearless living coach. Did I get that correct?
00:27:05:36 - 00:27:07:01
Sha Sparks
Yes. Okay. Yes.
00:27:07:39 - 00:27:22:44
Wayne Mulder
So I love that phrase fearless living. And it kind of goes well with everything we're discussing here, because that's really what we're overcoming is fear. But let me ask you, how has fear stopped you in the past? Let's kind of start there and then we'll go forward.
00:27:23:13 - 00:27:56:15
Sha Sparks
Oh, yeah. I mean, so. Well, first of all, fear stopped me from moving. Fear stopped me from moving out of my my job. Moving out of my abusive partner's home. It stopped me from moving out of the state. So in all areas of my life, it's literally stopped me. I feel like most of the time between the ages of eight and 12, something happens in our life and that's when the fear gets kind of ignited, so to speak.
00:27:56:49 - 00:28:20:24
Sha Sparks
And then from there, our childhood experiences shape our adult decisions. So the decisions that we're making today as an adult stems from something that happened to us from childhood that creates this fear that we just keep carrying along with us. So for me, I've been afraid of God, so many things. I was afraid to speak up. I was, believe it or not, I.
00:28:20:24 - 00:28:27:32
Wayne Mulder
Was going to say for those that know you personally, that was a shocking statement. So sorry if you saw me laugh there on the camera, people, but I believe you.
00:28:28:22 - 00:28:37:37
Sha Sparks
Yeah. I mean, so I was afraid to speak up. I was afraid to speak out. I was afraid to ask for what I needed. I was afraid to say that I needed something.
00:28:37:53 - 00:28:38:11
Wayne Mulder
Yeah.
00:28:39:00 - 00:28:58:12
Sha Sparks
That right there was huge for me. I thought, Oh, I don't have needs. I don't want to be needy. And the truth is, we all have needs. It's it's who. It's just who we are. We're human. So we all have needs. But it never in a million years would you have ever get in gotten me to say that I had needs.
00:28:58:35 - 00:29:25:12
Sha Sparks
And so when I was able to let that go of not having needs doesn't mean I'm needy. It means they just haven't been met. I was going to have it communicated them or asked for them to be met. That is the key. So yeah, I was afraid to speak up. I was afraid to use my voice. I was afraid to at one point when I was in that abusive relationship, I was afraid he was going to kill me.
00:29:26:07 - 00:29:26:27
Wayne Mulder
Well.
00:29:26:52 - 00:29:31:04
Sha Sparks
So I was just waiting to die for that whole relationship.
00:29:32:29 - 00:29:33:01
Wayne Mulder
It's horrible.
00:29:33:41 - 00:30:06:03
Sha Sparks
And then I realized that for most of my life, I was afraid to live because I knew that in my sorry way, in my comfort zone, I knew that I was safe and protected and I was at least okay ish, or at least I was surviving. I didn't understand that there was a difference between surviving and thriving, so I was afraid to sort of thrive because I didn't know what that looked like.
00:30:06:03 - 00:30:13:28
Sha Sparks
It was so unfamiliar. Even the concept was so unfamiliar. I thought, There's no way I can learn how to thrive.
00:30:14:38 - 00:30:14:56
Wayne Mulder
Yeah.
00:30:15:30 - 00:30:21:30
Sha Sparks
And so, yeah, I was afraid of many things.
00:30:21:30 - 00:30:42:16
Wayne Mulder
And I'm assuming because I know even as you talk that I it's not funny. Ha ha. But funny, interesting. Some of the things that you said there, because it kind of takes me back and one thing that I've been doing lately, as you know, is I've been working on another book that I'm hoping to have come out later this fall or next year.
00:30:43:03 - 00:30:45:32
Wayne Mulder
And part of that. Thank you. Yes.
00:30:45:57 - 00:30:46:19
Sha Sparks
Yes.
00:30:46:22 - 00:30:50:07
Wayne Mulder
It's a slow process, as is everything with what we're doing. But, you know that.
00:30:50:29 - 00:30:50:58
Sha Sparks
Yes.
00:30:51:32 - 00:31:12:48
Wayne Mulder
But in there, it's kind of split up into these individual, like every day's a different theme. So it's been a lot of self excavation for me because I'm going back to these moments. And it's interesting because it's never, at least in my opinion, it's never an excuse. You know, just because I went through this as a child or whatever, that's never an excuse.
00:31:12:48 - 00:31:40:53
Wayne Mulder
But it can be a reason. It can be a contributing factor if you were right. So going back and looking at some of these things that had happened and how I can do that is the reason why I struggled with X now like I didn't, you know, whatever it is public speaking or you know, you see this pattern all throughout your life and it also can become a decision making pattern or a decision making paradigm that can at some point you wake up and you're like, Why do I keep doing the same thing thing over and over and over again?
00:31:41:20 - 00:31:55:03
Wayne Mulder
So we all have these fears. So my point being is, I think this is all universal. Mm hmm. Since it is universal. What is that first step to overcoming it? What would you say is the first step towards overcoming fear?
00:31:55:17 - 00:32:38:00
Sha Sparks
Well, first of all, I think the first step is to understand that you're not alone and you don't have to do this alone. In fact, I recommend that you don't do this alone. So possibly find a trusted confidante or person that you can vent to and a difference of a venting rather than counseling is that their whole purpose as the listener is to just listen, not to justify, not to validate, not to agree with, just to listen.
00:32:38:38 - 00:33:06:41
Sha Sparks
So I would think I mean, I'm a big believer in, of course, hiring coaches and counselors and journaling and things like that. But literally, if you could find someone that you trust, venting is a huge tool that is underutilized. Journaling is another one. So if you don't want to verbalize it and you're not ready to start verbalizing it to another person because you're too afraid, because again, I was there.
00:33:07:03 - 00:33:30:59
Sha Sparks
JOURNALIST Write it down. Get it out of your brain. And I write it down with a pen and a paper or a pencil and paper the old school way and not at a laptop or your phone because there's research in your brain that things get, the neuroplasticity gets rewired and it helps you release it down into your shoulder, down your arm, down into your hand, through the pen and on to the paper.
00:33:31:30 - 00:33:43:04
Sha Sparks
So it allows you to actually like kind of I call it a brain dump. You actually get to take out the garbage, so to speak, and get rid of some of that things so you can have space.
00:33:43:26 - 00:33:43:44
Wayne Mulder
Yeah.
00:33:44:20 - 00:34:02:22
Sha Sparks
Because that's what ends up happening is that we have all of this, let's pretend it's all negativity going in our minds. 24 seven that you can't even see that there are things that are to be thankful for. There are things that are going great that you can't even see it.
00:34:03:05 - 00:34:03:23
Wayne Mulder
Yeah.
00:34:04:08 - 00:34:30:45
Sha Sparks
You are so muddled with all the things that's happening. Negativity, that's all. And then that's all you see. So you, you really start to focus on your choice of either it's negative or you can start to focus on things that are positive. So I would say a combination that would be kind of maybe one, two and three is journal vent and then choose which one you want to focus on.
00:34:31:35 - 00:34:52:40
Wayne Mulder
Every time I either say journaling or someone says journaling on here, I feel like there's this pushback with, Well, that sounds great. And, you know, it always comes down to an issue with time. Well, I don't have time to do that. So, yeah, what what is what is your journaling practice or can you go into that a little bit?
00:34:52:40 - 00:35:05:09
Wayne Mulder
Because I think a lot of people envision that they have to sit down for a half hour or an hour, you know, that they're writing, you know, war and peace. And that's not what we're doing here. Can you go and do a little bit more on what that practices for you?
00:35:05:29 - 00:35:27:07
Sha Sparks
Absolutely. And there thank you for bringing out my book, How to Get Your Voice Back. There was one chapter in there, one exercise, and that's what it is. It's a prompt journal. And one of the exercises is notice what you're saying to yourself, what negative thoughts are you calling yourself? And take 5 minutes, 10 minutes and just write it out.
00:35:27:07 - 00:35:38:00
Sha Sparks
What you're saying to yourself from I mean, literally, you're going to be shocked that you are saying this to yourself because you had never actually identified it.
00:35:39:19 - 00:35:58:13
Wayne Mulder
Yeah, I that type practice and the reason I ask these questions when guests come on here and thank you for saying that is because they've been powerful for me. But I know the listeners when they hear me saying it over and over again, it becomes kind of one of those, well, it works for you, but it may not work for me.
00:35:58:13 - 00:36:21:52
Wayne Mulder
And that's why I love hearing it from others who it's worked for. In fact, for me, it's even been healing in other areas, like with forgiveness towards people or different things like that, especially when you talk familial type issues or that kind of thing. Writing that down, one of the best exercises I had ever gone through along those lines was that a men's retreat in the mountains of Colorado.
00:36:21:54 - 00:36:41:48
Wayne Mulder
That's part of why it was so perfect. But besides the fact that we're in the mountains of Colorado, it was this. It had to do with your father and your relationship with your father. And my dad and I had a good relationship. But there's always you know, there's always things with fathers and sons, as there is with fathers and daughters, as there is with mothers and sons and mothers and daughters.
00:36:41:49 - 00:36:58:03
Wayne Mulder
It's just the way it goes. And part of the exercise was write down what what it is you wish your father would have always told you. And it became a forgiveness exercise and the power of that, I cannot say enough. So thank you. I just think that's such a powerful message when it comes to writing.
00:36:58:51 - 00:37:27:03
Sha Sparks
Well, and it is it's it's so undervalued and it's funny. So I wrote that book and I literally was at my class reunion and saw my English teacher who started as writing, journaling every day in in middle school. And I hated it. And I wrote some really terrible things to him as a letter telling him how much I hated it, because that's the kind of person I was as a troublemaker.
00:37:27:41 - 00:37:28:48
Sha Sparks
And I can't.
00:37:28:48 - 00:37:29:16
Wayne Mulder
Imagine.
00:37:29:16 - 00:37:49:17
Sha Sparks
I know. Surprise, surprise. And so it's funny because then I got to just see him recently and I said, honestly, as much as I hated it, thank you. Because it's literally been the catalyst for who I am and for for my books and partly therapy.
00:37:49:17 - 00:37:49:31
Wayne Mulder
Yeah.
00:37:50:22 - 00:37:59:15
Sha Sparks
And you vent inside of a person, you're venting on the paper. Yeah. So, yeah, it's, it's a huge tool.
00:37:59:15 - 00:38:24:27
Wayne Mulder
I love it. I absolutely love it. Well, let me go one other direction here real quick. We've talked about fear and we've talked about kind of those first steps to overcoming fear, but then something that comes up and I liked this question because it kind of is nuanced towards something that's very important for law enforcement officers. So how does someone build confidence of the opposite or the way that you're going to face fear is being more confident.
00:38:24:43 - 00:38:37:15
Wayne Mulder
And confidence is something that's very important for a law enforcement officer. And then sometimes it's fake, which we'll get to that in a minute. But when it comes to overcoming fear, how does someone build their confidence? Hmm.
00:38:37:15 - 00:38:58:03
Sha Sparks
So funny. I actually asked myself this question way back when I was in the healing process and I thought, how can I build up my confidence in who I am? And you're going to laugh at the answer because we've already been speaking about it. It is literally practicing, being vulnerable.
00:38:58:03 - 00:38:58:37
Wayne Mulder
I like that.
00:38:59:13 - 00:39:32:47
Sha Sparks
And and and it's two parts, right? That's the first part. The safety zone in doing this is to know you're not going to die being vulnerable. It might feel like it. Yeah. Because it's so scary and so out of your comfort zone, but you're not going to all you are is going to have a vulnerable conversation with someone and or you're going to be the new person in the room and raising your hand and say, I'm new here.
00:39:34:52 - 00:39:37:12
Wayne Mulder
Which is not easy for of us, just for the record.
00:39:37:12 - 00:40:06:23
Sha Sparks
Yeah, and it wasn't for me. And I started going to networking events and doing that and just practicing it and it was amazing how people who are who receive you when you're being vulnerable is not shunning you. They actually open their arms to you. And I was like, Oh, you're new, great. Let me talk to you. And so, yeah, it's fascinating to the fear will tell us, oh, I can't do that.
00:40:06:48 - 00:40:18:10
Sha Sparks
And then once you do it, the confidence you literally that's how confidence grows is by being vulnerable by by continuously to practice being vulnerable in a safe in a safe way.
00:40:19:58 - 00:40:42:37
Wayne Mulder
I think that's so important. I think that's something the listeners can take take away from this no matter what their walk of life, whether in law enforcement or something else, as you know, because you know me personally, it's something that I struggle with even now getting out of my comfort zone and doing things that make me uncomfortable. However, even doing this podcast and any public speaking I've done have all been very much in this vein.
00:40:42:39 - 00:41:04:37
Wayne Mulder
I just don't know what words to put to it. When I first wanted to get into doing public speaking, I intentionally made myself vulnerable by going to different classes and going through classes that I knew they were going to force me to get up and talk and those kind of things. And that definitely helped build that base and made it much more comfortable going down the road.
00:41:04:40 - 00:41:18:54
Wayne Mulder
Is part of why I do it now. Because it is funny. We, you and I've talked about this and I just posted about it this week on social media how for some reason these speaking and podcast ing half times, it's all introverts that come to do this, which is absolutely hilarious, but.
00:41:21:01 - 00:41:26:05
Sha Sparks
Yeah, it is. Because it's there. Yeah. Yeah. They're the safety behind the screen, too.
00:41:26:27 - 00:41:37:21
Wayne Mulder
Exactly. And that's the thing. People are it's like, well, you can sit here and talk for hours. Are you an introvert? But I'm literally talking to a computer and I know that I can edit it like I control.
00:41:37:21 - 00:41:37:57
Sha Sparks
Yes.
00:41:38:04 - 00:41:42:37
Wayne Mulder
So that's a little different than standing up in front of a thousand people and being like, hi, I'm way.
00:41:43:22 - 00:42:24:10
Sha Sparks
Yes, yes. So so being vulnerable is like taking an improv class, right? Like that. Maybe super vulnerable. Taking a professional development of professional personal development. Personal development is actually professional development and vice versa where if you learn something in an area of any walk of life, it applies to all areas, number one. But you could also just have a conversation with a trusted person by saying, you know, thank you and then tell them what you're thankful for them for telling them you're sorry and then explaining why you're sorry, you know, saying I love you for the first time, asking for forgiveness.
00:42:24:39 - 00:42:24:57
Wayne Mulder
Yeah.
00:42:25:24 - 00:42:46:15
Sha Sparks
You know, those things are being vulnerable and emotional. Fear is what we've been talking about. But it's also it shows up in the brain and you have the same reactions as you're in your body as physical fear. So, you know, holding going out on the beat for the first time, you know, shooting, shooting someone for the first time.
00:42:46:15 - 00:43:07:08
Sha Sparks
There's little or holding a gun to someone. There's literally all this fear is the same, whether it's emotional fear or physical fear, a spider. You know, some people are scared of the fighters or snakes or heights. That's the same thing. It all shows up, whether it's your practicing, being vulnerable by telling someone that you're sorry or you you pet a tarantula.
00:43:07:51 - 00:43:09:07
Wayne Mulder
Interesting.
00:43:09:07 - 00:43:11:29
Sha Sparks
Yeah, it's literally all the same.
00:43:11:52 - 00:43:30:55
Wayne Mulder
Hmm. Yeah. And I know that to be intuitively true, but I've never actually thought of that before, because this will surprise you. But there are a lot of things that I was a little uncomfortable with. Say, Hide said yes, but fortunately I had a little sister who decided that she was afraid of absolutely nothing. So hence I had to do some things.
00:43:30:55 - 00:43:46:17
Wayne Mulder
Because you can never let your little sister out, do you? But anyway, we're not going to give the listeners any more than that in this conversation. One last thing that I kind of want to go down. So we've talked about fear and we talk about overcoming, and we've talked about it from an emotional side as well as what you just brought up.
00:43:46:17 - 00:43:53:25
Wayne Mulder
And then we kind of went into how to build confidence. What is imposter syndrome and how does that tend to stop people?
00:43:54:09 - 00:44:13:30
Sha Sparks
So imposter syndrome is basically anything that you say, I am not enough. Or you say I am stupid, I am weak, I am I can't believe I'm so like, well, this was one of the things I used to say all the time to myself. I can't believe I'm so stupid that I blank you might say I can't believe I'm so dumb.
00:44:14:13 - 00:44:41:54
Sha Sparks
Or you say I could never do that, whatever that is, because I'm not blank enough, smart enough, rich enough, handsome enough, pretty enough, you know, whatever, whatever the blank enough is. That's imposter syndrome. And oh, nine times out of ten and I'm making that up. But most of the time it stops you from whatever it is that you're wanting to do.
00:44:42:05 - 00:44:59:00
Sha Sparks
That imposter syndrome will show up. The key is to just know that it's going to show up. Kind of like that goes back to that thoughts, drives the feelings that drives a result, the actions that you want, the results for the desired outcome. It's just going to show up and then you go, Okay, I don't have to listen to that because it's not true.
00:44:59:58 - 00:45:00:30
Wayne Mulder
I like that.
00:45:01:17 - 00:45:06:25
Sha Sparks
So if none of our thoughts are true, then we get a choice to what we want to think.
00:45:07:58 - 00:45:32:13
Wayne Mulder
Yeah, virtually no. And that's that's again, powerful and something that I can see how we tend to do that because even myself that's something that I've seen within myself that I've had to deal with. And I think that's it's something we all do at one point or another. And I know, in fact, just today I had had a conversation with someone like, well, I could never do what you're doing.
00:45:32:13 - 00:45:57:10
Wayne Mulder
And it's like, well, you could you just have to do it, you know what I mean? Like, if there wasn't a legitimate reason why, they couldn't. It was just, well, and it could be as simple as why I don't want to do this, and this is what it takes to do it. I get that. Yeah, but we all we make these internal agreements with ourselves that so often are true, but then they can stifle us and keep us from doing what it is we were called to do or should be doing, or whatever the case may be.
00:45:58:10 - 00:46:19:58
Sha Sparks
Right? Like I could never be an astronaut and they would say, oh sure you get no really I don't want to train like that. Right. Like, so there's my no I don't want to type of thing. Right. So I get to make a decision, I get to know, reframe the thought. It's not that I'm thinking, Oh, I'm too dumb to become an astronaut or I'm too dumb to be X, Y or Z.
00:46:20:13 - 00:46:25:22
Sha Sparks
Like what you're saying. So it's really about holding your thoughts captive. It all comes back to that.
00:46:25:58 - 00:46:43:12
Wayne Mulder
I love that and I like how we've talked a lot about the internal dialog because I think that's something I know that it's huge for me and something that I'm constantly needing to battle. So I know for the listeners that that's going to be very beneficial. So I hope you all are enjoying that. Well, Sha, let's quickly we've already talked about this book.
00:46:43:30 - 00:46:48:48
Wayne Mulder
Yes. How to get your voice back. So let's what is your other book? You also have fire starters.
00:46:49:17 - 00:46:51:43
Sha Sparks
Yes, it's called Hashtag Fire Starters.
00:46:51:43 - 00:46:53:10
Wayne Mulder
And can you tell us a little bit about that?
00:46:53:24 - 00:47:02:51
Sha Sparks
Yes, it's a coauthor book. And the first one is called How to be a Spark of Hope in the Midst of Change and the.
00:47:02:52 - 00:47:03:36
Wayne Mulder
Love That Girl.
00:47:03:54 - 00:47:33:18
Sha Sparks
Thank you. There are more collections coming and what you'll find is chapters written from people from all walks of life. There are at least two chief master sergeants from the Air Force and that are in the book, and they have shared their experience. There is a trauma coach, a life coach, a marketing coach, and well, I guess he's like, gosh, there's several life coaches out of.
00:47:33:18 - 00:47:59:34
Sha Sparks
They knew about it, but one is also a naval. He was on a submarine. He's a naval veteran. And it's fascinating that when you when the pandemic happened, this kind of idea kind of came out of out of it that we're no longer meeting in person at the time, connecting with people who are also people who are practicing being the change that they want to see.
00:47:59:52 - 00:48:00:12
Wayne Mulder
Right.
00:48:00:27 - 00:48:26:02
Sha Sparks
So it's like, well, what if instead of being able to connect in person, what if we connected inside a book and then we were able to share it with just a larger audience rather than just the people in the room? So that's really kind of where the idea came from. And now and now it's grown. So we're getting ready to to interview applicants for the next collection, which will be called How to Be Fearless.
00:48:26:02 - 00:48:32:27
Sha Sparks
So funny. We're talking about fear, how to Be Fearless in pursuit of what set your soul on fire.
00:48:33:00 - 00:48:33:39
Wayne Mulder
Very cool.
00:48:33:54 - 00:48:45:36
Sha Sparks
Yeah, yeah. It's going to be great. Yeah. So if anybody is listening and they're like, oh, my gosh, I want to be a part of that, you know, feel free to reach out. And we can definitely set you up an interview to talk about what you what you want to write about.
00:48:46:12 - 00:49:03:07
Wayne Mulder
Perfect. I will make sure to have that in the show notes. And for what the hashtag Fire Stars book looks like. Anyone watching on video, it's right there behind Teddy Roosevelt. But I will also put pictures in here so you'll be able to see that as well. Well, I'm down to what is next for you and your mission.
00:49:03:52 - 00:49:41:15
Sha Sparks
Hmm. I love this. I have a couple of avenues that are showing up. One is that I just absolutely am passionate about, as are you, because we have this platform of what's called a podcast. And I love helping small business owners who are professional in their in their world like the leader. Yeah. Really bring their voice to their audience or a broader audience and start a podcast for them.
00:49:41:58 - 00:50:00:50
Sha Sparks
So I interview them and really highlight the amazing business that they do that they just see with their patients or their clients every day and really bring that out in conversation and then, you know, help produce it and help them move forward. And in being a podcaster.
00:50:01:30 - 00:50:01:57
Wayne Mulder
That's awesome.
00:50:01:57 - 00:50:04:01
Sha Sparks
Yeah. Yeah. So I'm really excited about that.
00:50:04:19 - 00:50:32:48
Wayne Mulder
Well, and I have to say, for the sake of the listener, she is such a cool person. And of course I'll have the little blurb at the beginning of this. But you are a master connector. You're probably you're just an amazing person. So everybody definitely check out the website it's ShaSparks.com but definitely reach out to her and follow her on all the social media is before you leave I have to ask you my final question that I ask everybody, though.
00:50:32:49 - 00:50:46:31
Wayne Mulder
So we've talked about all sorts of good things and all sorts of takeaways. However, what is the one take away the one thing that law enforcement officers can do that will make a difference in their personal lives? What is that one actionable thing they can take away with them right now?
00:50:46:51 - 00:51:09:59
Sha Sparks
MM and hold their thoughts captive and know that the negative isn't true? I like it. That's it. So the thought that they think someone else is thinking about them isn't true either.
00:51:11:07 - 00:51:14:45
Wayne Mulder
I love that. It's simple and yet it's profound. So thank you.
00:51:15:34 - 00:51:24:34
Sha Sparks
Thank you. And thank you for having me. And I'm so glad that you're coming back to do the work that you're doing because you're you're making an impact and it's so important.
00:51:24:59 - 00:51:47:02
Wayne Mulder
Well, thank you. So I appreciate it. So everybody go to Shasparks.com all the links are below in the show notes Shea thank you again thank you. And that does it for this week's The Interview Room. I hope you really enjoyed it. Another great guest will be with us again next week. We have a great lineup for you here over the next few weeks and I'm through the rest of the year, so you're definitely not going to want to miss a single episode.
00:51:47:33 - 00:52:05:51
Wayne Mulder
We also have Morning Roll Call, which typically comes out on Monday mornings. However, I may change my mind and who knows? They could come out different day of the week, but morning roll call, check that out as well. That's just me talking to you and it gives us a few minutes to go over something, anything from news or something actionable that matters, hopefully to you.
00:52:06:14 - 00:52:26:00
Wayne Mulder
One last favor, please, please, please. Whatever service you are looking at or whatever service you are watching this on, you're listening to this on, please leave us a rating and review five stars. That would be the appropriate number of stars if for some reason it's not five stars, in your opinion, or if it is, tell us why we would love to hear it.
00:52:26:00 - 00:52:39:50
Wayne Mulder
I would love to get your feedback. In fact, I'm going to start reading some of these reviews on the air. I been looking at some of the ones on Apple Podcasts and thank you, thank you, thank you for the phenomenal reviews and thank you all for taking the time to listen to this. I hope you're really enjoying it.
00:52:40:04 - 00:53:01:21
Wayne Mulder
You all have a safe week out there and I will see you next week in the interview room. I will see you next week in Morning Roll Call. But in the meantime, I'll see you On The Blue Line.